The Letter
by xodramionexo
Summary: Hermione returns to Hogwarts to finish out her last year at Hogwarts without Harry and Ron by her side. When she returns, she finds out that Draco has returned. Hermione takes her last year to emotionally grow and move on from the past that engulfs her within the castle walls. Without doing so, she will never be able to prepare herself for what awaits her.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

"As You Wish"

"Hermione," Luna stepped into the compartment and sat on the other side, facing her.

"Luna, how are you?" Hermione discretely put the letter in her bag.

"I'm good. How are you dealing with everything? I'm sure it must be difficult to come back here without Ron or Harry. Are you nervous at all?" Luna looked at Hermione with sincere eyes.

"I'm nervous," Hermione laughed, "But, it will be fine. At least I'm not coming back completely alone."

The two girls exchanged a smile, before the compartment door opened again. Standing there, was Ginny Weasley, who was not happy about returning back to school. But since her family insisted, she did so to please them. Practically throwing herself onto the seat next to Hermione, she let out a sigh. Ginny had always loved Hogwarts. She was an excellent student, and she always had a decent social life (especially the past few years). But after the death of her brother, things seemed different. She didn't look at the War as a victory, which made sense. Hermione had to admit that after seeing all those who had fallen, it wasn't a victory. The war wasn't about killing off breeds, or random people on the other side. The War was about defeating Voldemort for once and for good. Ginny hadn't really been the same since her brother's passing, and Hermione didn't blame her for it. Hogwarts lost a lot of family during that time. And nothing they did could bring those people back.

"Some of the people in the compartment to the left of this one said that they rebuilt the castle to look exactly like it did before." Ginny commented after several minutes of keeping quiet.

The other two girls went silent as the train moved on. None of them wanted to be reminded of the War, but they knew that by going back, they would be engulfed in every memory that they had of it. They were prepared to look at glimpses of rooms full of dead loved ones, tore down sections of stone, shattered glass from windows, and the ghosts of their loved ones who had passed. But nothing could have prepared the girls for what this year held.

The train stopped, and suddenly there was commotion everywhere. New students were rushing towards the front to get off as quickly as possible. Many of the older students, just sat in their compartments, waiting patiently—or impatiently, for the others to move through. They sat around, trying to prepare themselves, trying to tell themselves that things were going to be easier than they thought. Some were right, some were wrong. But it didn't really matter. The only thing that mattered right now was whether or not their personal, pretty lies would be enough to help them to step off the train. Once they were off the train, everything would fall into place. Or at least, that's what they were telling themselves.

Hermione grabbed her suitcase and her bag. She followed the younger girls out into the narrow hallway, and followed them to the front of the train. As they stepped off the train, the wind blew harshly against them. Their hair flew everywhere, and their black cloaks lifted up from the ground. Pushing against the wind, the girls collectively walked towards the rest of the group. This distraction was so abrupt that Hermione didn't even notice her letter flying out of her bag and a few yards behind her on the ground.

Draco Malfoy stepped off of the train, just in time for his foot to catch the letter. He bent down and picked it up. When he noticed who the letter was written to, he put it in his pocket, and walked on. When he entered the Great Hall, he debated walking it over to Hermione. But he knew that she wouldn't respond well, and may even accuse him of stealing. He wanted to lay low for a while, so he stayed at his table, and watched as the open ceremony began. He did not pay much attention to the new comers until one boy caught his eye. He was a blonde boy with big eyes. It was easy to tell that the boy was cocky and mouthy to other people. This boy reminded Draco of himself when he was younger. How he wished he could warn the boy to not be like that now. If he continued his ways, he would end up just like Draco. When the sorting hat called out Slytherin, Draco hung his head a bit lower. The poor boy was in need of a huge attitude adjustment if he was ever going to make it through the upcoming years.

"Students," McGonagall stood in front of the students as the new Headmistress. "I will now announce the Head Boy and Head Girl of this school year. Our Head Girl is Hermione Granger!" There was a loud applause in the room, as Hermione's face turned a bright shade of red. "From our recovered records, our Head Boy should be Michael Jones…but since he has not returned this school year, we picked the next academically inclined student, Draco Malfoy!" Another round of applause followed.

Hermione looked across the room to see Draco staring at her. For a moment, the rest of the room was gone. It was just the two of them, staring at one another. Letting out a soft breath, Hermione could hear her heart beating faster. Her hands clenched and her body tensed up. She had the sudden urge to scream. How could they let that pig-headed idiot back into the school? His family contributed to the destruction of the school, so why would they take him back? Biting her bottom lip, Hermione looked away. Nearby students asked if she was okay, but she was too upset to speak.

After a few moments, Hermione stood up from her seat and walked to the hallway. Tears fell from her face as she climbed the stairs. From the corners of her eyes she could see the paintings moving around within their frames. But she didn't pay them any attention. Moving up another staircase, Hermione stopped at the Gryffindor commons.

"Granger," Draco's voice cut through Hermione. She wiped her eyes before turning around to face him. The last thing she needed to do was let the ferret see her crying. "There's a separate for Head Boy and Girl."

"Stay away from me, Malfoy." Hermione had a tense jaw as she spoke.

"That's going to be difficult with the new living arrangements." Draco walked up a few more steps.

"I said stay away from me!" Hermione drew her wand and pointed it at Draco.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Granger. If that's what I had wanted, I would have already killed you." Draco continued to walk towards her. "And you're not going to hurt me, because let's be honest, you're a damn good witch, and if you really wanted to kill me, I'd be dead by now."

"Why did you come back? Why did they let you back in here?" Hermione cried, "You don't deserve to be here—let alone a Head Boy!"

"There are many things you don't know, Granger," Draco finally reached the last step.

"Let's keep it that way." Hermione headed to the Head Girl and Head Boy corridor. Draco followed beside her, silently. He knew that talking to her wasn't going to be easy.

When they reached the door, Draco whispered a password and door opened. They walked into the room to find a common room. Draco lit the fireplace with his wand as Hermione went into the small kitchen behind the couch. Just past the kitchen was a bathroom and a bedroom on either side of it. The right bedroom was done in beautiful red and gold colors, while the other was decorated in green and black.

"Granger, I think we really need to talk some things through. If we get them out of the way, this school year will be easier for the both of us." Draco offered.

"You're ridiculous. I'm done talking to you." Hermione shook her head.

"Granger, wait…you're the one being ridiculous. I think we're old enough to sit down and have a normal conversation." Draco moved closer to her.

"I told you to stay away from me!" Hermione pulled out her wand again and pointed it in Draco's direction. This time Draco stopped in his tracks. He could tell by the look in her eye and the tone of her voice that this time she was serious. This time she wouldn't think twice about killing him on the spot. He took a deep breath and stepped away from her with a slight nod.

"As you wish," Draco kept his eyes towards the ground as Hermione walked into her room and slammed the door. Maybe Draco hadn't estimated correctly how hard this transition really would be.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Inhumane

Author's Note: Hello readers! Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story! It means so much to me! Feel free to comment and tell me what you think so far, what you like/dislike, etc.I have song recommendations for this chapter. My first song recommendation is Recover by CHVRCHES and the second one is Gabrielle Alpin and Bastille's cover of Dreams (originally done by Fleetwood Mac). I hope you enjoy the update!

* * *

Hermione kept to herself whenever she wasn't in class. She decided to eat in the small kitchen instead of going down to the Great Hall. Whenever anyone asked, she would just say she had too much school work to do. On this particular evening, Hermione decided to sit on the couch and read her new book for pleasure. She was curled up in blankets with a pillow behind her head. Though she hoped Draco would stay in his room for the night, she was fairly certain he would take the opportunity to try to talk to her again.

"Granger," Draco entered the room, noticing her unusual presence. "You're sitting out here?"

"This is my place too, Malfoy. Get over it." Hermione harshly said through gritted teeth.

"I wasn't complaining." Draco mumbled as he made his way into the kitchen. He quietly made himself a snack, but continued to glance up at Hermione. Although she could not see him because she was faced away, she could still feel his eyes on the back of her head.

"You could just take a picture," Hermione commented, "It would last longer."

"What?" Draco paused, obviously confused by the muggle reference.

"Nothing, I'll just go back to my room." Hermione stood up and collected her belongings from the couch.

"Granger, please, if you would just hear me out…" Draco walked towards her. "If you could just see things from my side, you would see that I'm not that terrible."

"I don't want to hear you out. I don't want anything to do with you, Draco!" Hermione turned at him with a sharp eye. "I don't know why you can't just get that through your head!"

Draco took a deep breath and rested his hands against the countertop. His head hung low as he listened to the sound of her door slamming. He rubbed his forehead as he looked back down at the sandwich he had made. Turning around, he threw it away and let out another sigh. Draco pulled himself up onto the countertop and stared at the fire across the room.

He wasn't one for confrontation, apologies, or explanations. So needless to say, this was entirely difficult for him. He wanted Hermione to see him in a different light. It's not like he wanted to kill innocent people, it's not like he wanted everyone to suffer. Draco had hoped that she would have seen his hesitation the day of the War, when Voldemort told him to join his side in front of everyone. He had hoped that somewhere deep down, Hermione would understand that there was so much more to the situation. But from her rigid actions and tone of voice, he could sense that she couldn't tell at all.

The next several weeks passed by fairly quickly. Draco managed to stay out of Hermione's way, which sometimes wasn't necessarily easy. He tried to talk to her every once in a while, smile at her, and be charming. But anything nice he said or did, only seemed to make Hermione resent him more. One day he held a door open for her, and she shook her head, and used another entrance. Another time, he picked up a book that she had dropped on her way to class and handed it to her, but she firmly grasped it in her hand, pulled it away and whispered rudely about being able to do it herself. Draco always bit his tongue and refused to say anything back, regardless that he had several terrible things he would have liked to have called her.

As far as classes went, Draco was doing fairly well. He was able to keep up his grades so that he could remain Head Boy, but he didn't try to exceed any expectations. His main focus was trying to get through to Hermione. There were things he couldn't tell anyone, but for whatever reason, he wanted to tell her. Something about Hermione had always interested Draco, and he was never sure what. Despite the fact that his younger self was a complete twit who treated her terribly, Draco still held a special place for the girl. He didn't start appreciating her until third year, when she punched him in the face. Something about that instance proved to him that she was willing to stand up for herself, and her friends. That was the side of Hermione that Draco liked best. He didn't need her to be angry or physical, he just needed to see her being strong. And since they returned to Hogwarts, he had seen her acting as if she were strong, but in the reality, she was acting pretty weak.

Several times, Draco had heard her crying in the shower. He wasn't sure what exactly was on her mind, but he knew that Hermione wasn't the girl to just cry over anything. Draco distanced himself, wondering if his presence continued to remind her of everything that had happened these past few years. Maybe he was the constant reminder that kept her from moving forward. A few times, Draco had caught Hermione staring at certain parts of the castle. The look in her eyes gave away that she was seeing whatever section she was looking at in the condition it was during the War. He wanted to talk to her about it, but he knew it would do go no good. He decided to wait until she was ready to talk. But after several more weeks passed by, it seemed as though she would never be ready. He was beginning to think that she would never want to talk to him.

It was a Friday night when Draco was suddenly woke up in the middle of the night. He heard something moving, and decided to check on Hermione. When he got to the door, he put his hand on the door knob and then stopped. He didn't want to intrude or be invasive, so he softly knocked on the door. There was no answer, but there was still odd noises coming from the room. He thought he could hear Hermione mumbling something, so he decided that was his answer to enter. When he opened up the door, he saw Hermione in her bed, tangled up in her covers. Every few moments she would move around in her bed. She would kick at the air, push some of the covers away from her, and make inaudible noises. At first, the sight was actually a bit funny. It just looked like she couldn't sit still in the middle of the dream. But what seemed silly at first, turned into something horrific. Hermione began to scream and tears poured down from her eyes, she started flailing around. Her hands clenched the covers at one point, then tried untangling herself, only to become more intertwined. Gasping for air, Hermione continued crying out as if she were being murdered.

Draco pulled out his wand and quickly placed a silencing charm on the room. The last thing he needed was for a professor to come check on them. After putting his wand away, Draco walked over to Hermione and tried to calm her down. He kept calling out her name and trying to hold down her arms from flailing everywhere. But she kept crying and fighting the air and covers. Draco pushed down a bit roughly on her arms, clearly only making the matter worse. She yanked out of his grip and shoved him downwards next to her. Within moments she was kicking and smacking Draco, with her eyes still closed and in a deep sleep.

Draco sat up and pushed her arms down. He straddled her, trying to keep her from fighting anymore. His hands were on her wrists, holding them down to mattress underneath. She continued to fight for a few minutes, and eventually her body went limp. Draco let go of her wrists and slowly wiped away a tear that had recently fallen down half of her face. Then he repeated her names a few times, until she woke up.

"What—what are you doing?" Hermione cried, alarmed by both Draco's position and presence.

"You were having a fit, Granger." Draco got off the bed. "You were crying and fighting. You were having some sort of nightmare, and I couldn't wake you up from it."

"I…" Hermione's face went red. She couldn't believe that she had just had a night terror in front of Malfoy. How was she going to live this one down? He would probably poke fun and tease her for it for the rest of the school year.

"What were you dreaming about?" Draco asked her. There was a long silence that followed his question. "Were you dreaming about the War?" Another long pause occurred. "Sometimes when I'm sleeping, my brain goes back to that night. I can see Hogwarts crumbling down. I can hear students that I have known for years, screaming, crying out for help. And you know what I did? I stood there and watched them die. I was a coward, and I didn't fight for what was right. And I have to live with that, every day and night of my life. My mind likes to torment me so I have quite a few dreams about the War, actually. I should have helped, I should have done something to prevent it. I should have gave McGonagall inside information, or help wreck Voldemort's plan. But a part of me wanted this to happen, you know? Though Potter and I still have our differences, I wanted Voldemort to die. I wanted Potter to kill him for once and for all. I didn't want everyone else to suffer and die in the process though." Draco took a deep breath, "My father used to wake me up in the middle of the night because I would have a night terror. He would wake me up and then slap me for being so childish. I was never enough for him. And I had failed in the War. It wasn't enough to let people die, I was supposed to kill many too. But there's something so inhumane about killing people." Draco shook his head and then turned to Hermione, "I'm not asking for your forgiveness, because I frankly do not want it nor deserve it. All I'm asking is that you don't hate me and completely ignore my existence. I get enough of that at home. We don't have to get along, and we don't have to be best friends. I just don't want you walking around thinking that I'm some vengeance killer planning his next attack. I just don't want you looking at me with those eyes that think I'm a monster. I want you to know that I suffered a great loss in that War, everyone did. Regardless of my lack of courage, I regret what I did every day of my life. I make sure I pay for what I've done. I torture myself as punishment, so I sure as Hell don't need someone else to do it for me. Coming back here wasn't easy, Granger. But my house is not a home, and this is the only place that I can call that. No one here likes me, everyone thinks I should either be dead or banned, and I can't say I disagree or blame them for feeling that way. I am sorry for what I've done, and I sincerely apologize for that."

"Draco—" Hermione called out, but he had already turned away and headed for the door.

"Goodnight, Granger." Draco left her bedroom and returned to her own.

* * *

When Hermione woke up the next morning, she found Draco's room empty. She wanted to talk to him, she wanted to apologize for acting so rude to him. But if she couldn't find him, there was nothing she could do about it. So she stayed in and did some school work, hoping that he would return shortly. After two hours, Hermione decided to walk around in search of him. On her way, she ran into both Luna and Ginny, who were on their way to Hermione's dorm to check it out.

"Can we do it a bit later? I'm actually in the middle of something right now." Hermione tried to walk past them.

"Hermione, listen, we've been concerned about you. You haven't seemed normal in class. You've been staring off a lot. You haven't really been paying attention to any of our conversations…" Ginny started.

"We're just worried about you. If you need to talk about something, if something's going on we can always try to help." Luna gave her a genuine smile.

"And if it's that dimwit Malfoy, I can take care of him." Ginny finished, flashing a silly smile to Hermione, making all three girls laugh.

"I am really sorry, to both of you. I haven't been myself lately. Being here is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Especially being roommates with Malfoy. I've been going through a lot emotionally, I've been replaying some terrible moments—I just can't escape from them. I'm sorry if I've been off lately, and if I continue to be off for a bit longer. I didn't realize how difficult this transition would be. But thank you guys so much for being here." Hermione hugged both of the girls. "I'm sorry, but I really do need to finish what I'm doing." She excused herself to find Draco.

When she reached the astronomy tower, she saw Draco staring down overlooking the grounds. A slight smile appeared on her face, seeing him in such a relaxed state. When his face and body weren't tense, she had to admit that he looked quite beautiful. Putting that thought aside and locking it in a deep, deep corridor, Hermione watched Draco as he turned around to see her staring. There was a silence between the two that was practically inevitable. What do you say to someone who is supposed to be your enemy, yet understands precisely what you've been through? What do you say to an enemy who helped you wake up from a restless night terror? What do you say to an enemy who bleeds the same, but has different blood? What do you say to an enemy when you stop viewing them as an enemy? Both stood there, trying to come up with words to say, but neither could manage to get any of them out.

"I don't hate you." Hermione eventually broke the silence. "I don't like you, but I don't hate you. And that's a step closer to us getting better, right?"

"Right," Draco nodded and cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry for acting so cruel to you. I guess I just wanted you to feel what I was feeling. That wasn't fair. And I apologize for not hearing your story out. I know there's probably still a lot that I don't know."

"There is." Draco nodded once more.

"Then with time, I will learn more. And we can learn to be civil with one another, right?" Hermione felt her voice quivering.

"Of course, Granger."

"And eventually...maybe I can work towards forgiving you. And you can work towards forgiving me." Hermione offered, trying to give a slight smile to the boy in front of her.

"Yes," He returned the smile, "I would like that, Granger."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Absolutely None of Your Business

Author's Note: Thank you guys for all your reviews! They are honestly so sweet! Please keep giving me feedback so that I know whether or not I should continue with this story. I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

* * *

Hermione washed her face in front of the mirror in the bathroom. She pulled her hair back and put it in a ponytail. Turning towards the open door, Hermione watched Draco enter the room with a towel around his waist. When he noticed her wide eyes and red face, Draco cleared his throat. He laughed under his breath as he moved around her to the other sink. Why couldn't there have been two bathrooms? It would have made this transition easier. Trying to keep a strong composure, Hermione kept reminding herself that this was inevitable. At some point or another, they were bound to see each other in more…vulnerable situations.

"I'm sorry, I thought you had already left." Draco admitted as he ran his hair through his blonde hair.

"Don't be, it's my fault. I normally don't take this long." Hermione grabbed her brush and left the bathroom. When she entered her room, she noticed her bag lying on the bed. She walked over to it, and started pulling out some more things to settle in. After putting a picture of her, Ron, and Harry up on her dresser, she suddenly remembered the letter. Making her way back to the bed, Hermione reached out for the bag. Where had she put the letter Ron gave her? How could she be so reckless as to lose something so important? She emptied out her bag and looked through all of her items. "I'm so stupid…"

"Granger, are you almost ready?" Draco walked into her doorway.

"I…um, yes," Hermione took a deep breath and rubbed her eyes.

"I didn't imagine someone as organized as you would have such a messy room," He joked as he looked at the pile of items on her bed.

"No, it's normally not like this," Hermione shook her head, "I just…I lost something. You know what, don't worry about it. I'll clean this up when I get back. Let's go." She shut her door and followed Draco into the hallway.

* * *

When class let out, Hermione bolted towards the door. She needed to find that letter if it was the last thing she did. So far, she had neglected to write Ron at all. It probably looked pretty bad on her part. She reached the hallway before a hand grabbed her arm.

"Hermione," Ginny pulled her to the side. "Um…did you get that letter from Ron? He wrote me the other day and said he was worried about you, because you never replied."

"I did get it. He gave it to me before we boarded the train. But I forgot to open it, and then I put it in my bag, and somehow I lost it. I didn't get to read it." Hermione had a sad look on her face. "But I will write him back today, okay?"

"Oh, okay," She tried to smile.

"I actually have some things I need to tend to," Hermione suddenly said.

"Of course you do." Ginny was expecting her to make some sort of excuse.

"I'll see you later, Ginny." Hermione headed down the hall.

"She said she didn't open it or read it." Ginny walked up to Luna who was standing on the other side of the hall.

"When we were on the train, the letter was opened, Ginny." Luna told her. "She put it in her bag when I entered the compartment. I think she read it, and she didn't want us to know about it. So she put it away."

"You think that she lied to me just now?" Ginny wondered, nibbling on her bottom lip.

"I don't think that she lied…I just…I don't know. Maybe she was freaked out by the letter and wants to pretend that she lost it so that she doesn't have to deal with it. She's been going through a lot lately. I just think that the letter would have added stress to her life—stress that she doesn't need." Luna crossed her arms.

"And my brother has to suffer just because she's going through a hard time?" Ginny became defensive. "She lost people in the War, just like we did. We all went through the same thing! It's not fair that she gets to bury herself in her room, shut us out, and then shut out her boyfriend. Ron doesn't deserve that, and frankly, neither do we."

"Ginny, it's only been a few months since her parents were murdered. She needs time." Luna tried to stay graceful.

"How much more time could she possibly need?" Ginny cried out, and then tried to compose herself. "I'm sorry, I really am. I respect that she needs time. I just don't think it's fair to Ron."

"I understand," Luna nodded to her friend. "But this is Hermione. She doesn't get bent out of shape for no reason. And we're her friends, Ginny. So if she's truly going through some things, we need to stay by her side and be good friends. If anything, she needs us now more than ever. I know that it's not necessarily fair, and I know that sometimes it hurts. I feel awful for Ron, really. But right now, we have to be strong...for both of them."

* * *

Draco lit the fireplace and opened up a school book. He watched Hermione at the kitchen counter, hunched over, writing a letter. He assumed it was for Ron, but he didn't pry into her business. Instead, he worked on some homework. After an hour had passed, and he heard Hermione putting her letter in an envelope. Draco closed his book and turned around to face the girl. She sealed the envelope as Draco opened his mouth to speak. But before any words came out, there was a knock on the door.

"It's probably for you," Draco said, "I can go to my room if you want."

"No, you can just stay there. It's probably just a professor or something." Hermione opened the door to see a pretty girl on the other side.

"Well look who it is, the infamous Hermione Granger." The girl laughed. "I heard Draco was staying here."

"Astoria," Draco recognized the voice before even seeing her face.

"Well," Hermione went back into the kitchen. "I should probably take this to the owlry." Hermione knew that her presence was probably making the entire situation awkward. So leaving the dorm was probably the best decision she could have made.

"Draco Malfoy," Astoria entered after Hermione was down the hall. "It's been awhile."

"It has," He shut the door. "How have you been?"

"How have I been? That's all you have to say after everything?" Astoria went wide eyed. "We were seeing each other quite frequently before…before the War. You even visited me when you were seeing Pansy. I thought we had something, Draco. And then after the War, I never heard from you. You…you didn't even try to contact me to see if I was alive."

"I knew you were alive, Astoria." Draco noticed how much she had changed since the last time they had encountered. "Don't be so dramatic about the situation."

"I'm not being dramatic. I don't think that it was unreasonable for you to at least check in. You just dropped off the face of the Earth. And now suddenly you enroll back into Hogwarts to finish out your last year? It just doesn't add up, Draco." She put her hands on her hips that had filled out.

"Things have changed." Draco muttered.

"Clearly," She breathed, "You're living with a mudblood…**_willingly_**."

"Don't say that," His temper rose behind his eyes.

"Look at that, you really have changed." She giggled. "Listen, Draco. I don't care whether you're bunking with a mudblood, as long as you're not shagging her. I missed you, and now we're here...together. I can't imagine everyone's warmed up to you quite yet…so if you need a little warming up…"

"Astoria," Draco interrupted her before she could finish.

"I'm only teasing you, Draco," She laughed and put her arms around him. "But I do miss you,"

"I don't think you get what I'm trying to tell you, Astoria. Things have changed, I have changed." Draco pulled away from her grip.

"And I've changed too." She took a step towards him. "But that doesn't mean that things have to change between us. You're still…you, Draco. I won't keep you much longer, I have other business to attend to. I just wanted to let you know that you still cross my mind. If you ever want to see me, you know where to find me." She flashed him a wicked smile.

"Thanks for stopping by," Draco politely replied as he showed her out of the dorm. It was true that Astoria and Draco had spent many evenings together. But Draco wasn't the same guy he was before. The Draco that was with Astoria was confused and alone, just wanting someone to love him. Astoria was beautiful and she looked up to Draco as if he were the chosen one himself. No one had ever looked at him the same way she did. But that was the only reason he continually showed up in her life. He didn't love her, he just loved the way she loved him. And that was entirely selfish and disgusting. Draco didn't see it then, but he sure as Hell saw it now.

When Hermione returned to the dorm, she noticed Draco's door was shut. She wasn't sure if Astoria was still there or not, so she tried to keep quiet as she made her way to her bedroom. That night, she went to bed early, hoping to catch up on the sleep she had been missing out on. But she woke up numerous times during the night, wondering if Astoria had left or if she was still there. She didn't understand why she was so curious, or why she was hoping the Slytherin girl had left. Regardless, she stood up from her bed and walked to his bedroom door. She put her ear against the wood, and listened to see if there was any talking. But there was only silence. Slightly opening the door, Hermione saw Draco wrapped up in his covers, faced away from her, sleeping sound. A small smile appeared on her face as she realized he was alone. Suddenly Draco moved over to his other side, and opened his eyes. Hermione's smile quickly faded as she realized he had seen her.

"Granger?" He sat up in his bed, rubbing his eyes.

"I'm—I'm sorry, I was having trouble sleeping," She admitted shyly.

"Do you want to stay in here with me?" His eyes began to adjust to the dark.

"That might be weird," Hermione was quick to reply.

"Yeah, maybe, I'm sorry. I just…sometimes it's easier to sleep next to someone than by yourself."

"Exactly how many people have you slept next to?" Hermione tried to make it sound like a joke, but it sounded a bit more accusing.

"I would answer that, but I'm sure you wouldn't really want to hear it." Draco was sharp, even when he was just waking up.

"Point taken," She nodded. "I should probably go lay back down."

"Here," Draco got out of bed and walked into the common room. "I'll stay on my side of the couch, and you can stay on yours." He pulled a cover over himself and nestled in one direction. Hermione took a few moments to decide whether or not she should go back to her room. "I don't bite, Granger."

Hermione curled up into a ball and laid in the opposite direction. Then she rested her head on a pillow and closed her eyes. Something about the presence of Draco calmed her nerves a bit. It also helped to know that Astoria wasn't sleeping over. It only took Hermione seven minutes to fall into a deep slumber.

* * *

"Have you talked to Ron?" Luna took a drink of water at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall the next morning.

"Yeah, I sent him a letter yesterday. I told him that Hermione is saying she lost the letter, and that it would be safer for him to just go along with it." Ginny answered.

"Sudden change of heart?" Luna seemed surprised.

"I just needed time to calm down," Ginny took a bite of food.

"Hey," Hermione sat down next to Luna.

"The princess came down from her tower," Ginny laughed, "What a surprise."

"I know, I'm sorry…" Hermione sighed, "I'm trying to get back into the swing of things, though."

The girls were pretty quiet as they ate their breakfast. It was obvious that both Luna and Ginny felt awkward with Hermione's sudden presence. Hermione felt like this was just another reason why she would have rather stayed up in her room and eat something small in her kitchen. The girls even kept quiet when they went to their first class, and practically through the rest of the day. She tried to reach out to both of them individually, but she could tell that something was wrong. Maybe Luna and Ginny were having an easier time with this transition, but even so, why couldn't they let Hermione have her space? If she needed time, then her friends should give it to her. Hermione tried not to be offended or upset with her friends, but she could tell that something was going on and whatever it was had been putting a huge strain on their friendship.

When Hermione got to her dorm, she found Draco cooking. She was surprised to see Draco actually making dinner without being asked to. However, she wasn't surprised that he was using magic to help him prepare the food. The boy had everything cooked for him by house elves growing up, so it made sense why he unsure how to cook by himself. Hermione had to give him props for at least attempting to make food, though. After putting down her bag at the door, Hermione sat up on the counter and silently watched Draco. He continued cooking for a few minutes before turning around and acknowledging her presence.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't notice you came in." Draco gave her a slight smile, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just…lately my friends haven't really felt like my friends. It seems like they know something that I don't know…or they're secretly mad at me…I'm not sure which." She shook her head. "I'm just going through a lot right now, and the last thing I need to worry about is stupid drama."

"Well…I'm sure it's nothing. They might be going through some things right now, too. They probably aren't even upset with you." Draco reassured her.

"Are you cooking for Astoria?" Hermione suddenly blurted out.

"What?" Draco turned back around to her. "Astoria? Why would I be cooking for Astoria?"

"I don't know," Hermione was kicking herself for even asking in the first place, "I just…I just didn't know why she stopped over yesterday."

"Does it matter why she stopped over? This is my place too, Granger." Draco's demeanor suddenly changed.

"No, I mean, it was fine that she did. I didn't mind. I just didn't know if something was wrong…or…" She was struggling trying to find the words to say.

"Granger, you didn't come into my room last night because you were having trouble sleeping, did you?" He was shocked. "You came to make sure Astoria didn't spend the night." Draco plated the food, and threw a towel on the counter. "How could you be so—" He tried to calm down before speaking. "Whoever I'm with, whenever I'm with them, and whatever I do, is absolutely _none_ of your business, got it?" Draco was leaning over the counter, with his eyes furrowed.

"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't know what I was thinking, I just didn't like the idea of Astoria staying the night."

"Why is that?" Draco leaned back to his normal upright position.

"I just think that we should set up rules, that's all. Neither of us should have company after ten. That way we can get comfortable and go to bed easier." Hermione suggested.

"You just want to keep Astoria out of here." Draco shook his head, "Call me crazy, but I think you got jealous about her coming over to see me."

"I wasn't jealous!" Hermione exclaimed. "It's just uncomfortable to have someone I don't know that well staying over. I mean, I know she didn't…but if she would have stayed over, it would have made me feel uncomfortable."

"Granger, that's not my problem." Draco walked from the kitchen to his room, and slammed the door. Hermione sat at the kitchen and poked at the plate Draco had made for her. Then she went to her room to get ready for bed. But it was only a matter of hours before Hermione found herself on the couch, staring into the fire.

Draco's door opened not too long after. He walked to the couch and sat beside Hermione, keeping his eyes on the wall. They sat quietly for a few minutes.

"I don't know why I freaked out when Astoria came over. I apologize for that. I guess I was just worried because I wasn't sure what she was to you, so I didn't know how long she'd be staying. We hadn't discussed rules or structures to the living arrangement, and I don't deal well without them. So maybe that's why I freaked out. Or maybe it's because I'm just learning to trust you, and no offense, but having some Slytherin girl come over made me feel…insecure and unsafe. I shouldn't have assumed you were cooking for her, I shouldn't have even brought it up. It was none of my business. Whoever you're seeing isn't my business, so I apologize." Hermione explained, taking a deep breath.

"It's fine. I can't say I would have reacted well to a random Gryffindor coming in. Especially if I didn't know where to two of you stood, or whether or not he was staying for a while. We should set some ground rules, just to make each other feel…better." Draco told her.

"Great, tomorrow morning maybe we can make a list and figure out what would work best." Hermione brought her knees up to her chest.

"Sounds good." Draco rested his head against the arm of the couch. There was a long silence as Hermione pulled the covers over herself and rested against the other arm. "For the record, Granger, Astoria isn't my girlfriend. Before the War, we were…we weren't seeing each other, but…"

"You don't have to tell me." Hermione kept her eyes shut.

"I know I don't. I just wanted you to know that what Astoria and I had…it's over. She probably won't be coming back around too often. I honestly don't think I'll have many visitors at all. So this won't be something you'll have to worry about." Draco yawned.

"Well, Ron didn't come back to finish out his last year, so you won't have to worry about that." Hermione offered before dozing off to sleep.

"I think we're learning, Granger." Draco told her. He was hoping for a reply, but he didn't get one. "I mean, we still have to work at it, but look at us. We're not pulling wands on each other, we're not screaming too loudly at each other..." He left room for her to respond, but she didn't. "I don't know, I just feel like we might be learning how to deal with one another more quickly than I thought we would. It's a good thing. Who knows, maybe you and I will even be friends one day." He laughed nervously, but there was still no response. "Are you awake?" He looked down towards her, to see her fast asleep. "Well, goodnight, Granger."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

You Deserve Better

Author's Note: Thank you for all the kind reviews! I really hope you guys are enjoying this story! I do have a few song recommendations for this chapter: Bullet by Chasing Grace, Distance by Christina Perri and Jason Mraz, and Please by Little Green Cars. Hope you enjoy the chapter!

* * *

Ron had moved out of his family's house a few months ago. He started renting an apartment so that he and Hermione could have more privacy. It wasn't like they actually needed privacy. Ron was mostly concerned with his siblings overhearing the conversations the couple had. It was a Thursday when Ron checked his mail on the way up to his apartment. When he got to his living room, Ron opened the letter from Ginny. He knew that whatever he read in that letter would help him to read Hermione's letter. As he unfolded the letter, there was a sudden knock on the door.

"Who is it?" Ron put the letters on the coffee table.

"Harry,"

"Shouldn't you be at work?" Ron wondered.

"I took a personal day." Harry explained, "Did you get anything from the mail?"

"Yes, I got a letter from both Ginny and Hermione." The two walked back towards the coffee table. He sat down and began to scan the paper. A frown appeared on his face when he was finished and handed it to Harry. "It's a polite way of her saying no." Ron let out a deep breath, while Harry read.

"She lost the letter, Ron. It's not like she would purposely lose it. That's not Hermione." Harry put the letter back in its envelope.

"Since when has Hermione ever misplaced anything?" Ron crossed his arms, "She should have just answered."

"Open the letter from Hermione, she might have told you something she didn't tell Ginny." Harry motioned towards the other letter on the table.

"You think she lost it?"

"I believe Hermione if she said that she lost it." Harry told him.

"She hasn't been the same since her parents were murdered. I feel like I don't even know her. And this is the first letter I got from her. She's been at Hogwarts for quite a while, Harry!" Ron sighed as he sat back down. "Bloody Hell…do you think that the letter is a breakup letter?"

"A breakup letter? You guys have been doing great. When she finishes school she wants to move in here with you. Why isn't that enough for you?" Harry exclaimed.

"Because what is the point of this relationship?" Ron questioned as he picked up her letter.

"The point of your relationship is that you love her, and she loves you. The point is that the two of you need to stick together through thin and thick. The point is that when everything else fails, your relationship shouldn't. The point is that Hermione is clearly hurting, and you need to be there for her." Harry explained.

"I am here for her! She doesn't want me to be here for her!" Ron shouted.

"Ron…" Harry rubbed his forehead, becoming agitated by his friend's outburst. He watched as Ron took the letter to fireplace and through it in. "Ron! What are you doing?"

"It's over," Ron shrugged. "If anyone asks, I just **_lost_** the letter."

"You are being immature and you're going to regret that later." Harry shook his head.

"So after everything we've been through, you're taking her side?"

"I'm not taking any sides. Hermione has never lied to us before, and I doubt that she would start now. If she lost that letter, I'm sure she's heartbroken about it. But there is nothing you can do about it. Just wait until she finishes her last year, then propose to her. She does love you, and you know that. Why are you so upset and hard on her lately?" Harry wondered as he stood up from the couch.

"She's Head Girl this year," Ron whispered.

"So?"

"Malfoy is Head Boy. And they are roommates." Ron let out a sigh.

"That's not her fault." Harry stated.

"She could have stepped down. She could have protested, but she didn't. She's befriending the enemy."

"You don't know that they are becoming friends." Harry shook his head.

"They never leave their corridor. Ginny told me that she barely sees either of them. They spend all their time together." Ron stated firmly.

"So that's what this is really about. This doesn't have much to do with the letter at all, does it? You're just jealous because she's rooming with your arch nemesis?"

"I just…she rooms with him, and suddenly she has no time to write me. It just seems shady, Harry. Don't you think?" Ron looked at him with an innocent look.

There was a long silence between the two boys. Harry looked towards the fire that was burning the remains of the letter. His eyes wandered back over to Ron and he nodded his head to him. Just once, Harry wanted to _not_ be in the middle of Ron and Hermione's relationship. But it always seemed like one of them was placing him on their side or the other. He managed to keep any arguments he had with Ginny with Ginny. He didn't go to Ron or Hermione about problems they were having, because they were able to sort them out on their own. Why couldn't they learn to do the same?

* * *

Draco walked down through an aisle of the library. It was after hours and technically he shouldn't have been in there, but his curiosity peaked and it couldn't wait for morning. His fingers skimmed over the spine of some old books. He took another step forward and bumped into someone. After taking a step back, he realized it was Hermione, so he began to laugh. What were the odds? Apparently, very, very high.

"Draco," Hermione let out a breath, "I was just…um, what are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question. I was just looking for some books…obviously." Draco nervously responded.

"Well…I was doing the same…obviously," She awkwardly replied as she moved around him to skim through some books. "Why didn't you come before it closed?"

"Because I didn't consider coming here until about fifteen minutes ago," Draco said, "And you?"

"I like the library better this way. There's no distractions, it's just quiet and dark. That probably sounds weird, I just…prefer it this way." Hermione told him as she walked down the aisle way.

"Granger," Draco looked over to her in a timid manner. "I…never mind," He turned away.

"What were you going to say?" Hermione moved closer to him.

"It's just…the dance is coming up in the next few weeks. I know that since you're Head Girl and I'm Head Boy, it's tradition that we attend it together. I was just going to formally ask you…you know, to be a polite friend." Draco couldn't even look at Hermione when he said this.

"Sure," Hermione nodded, "That's fine." She picked up a book from the shelf with a small smile on her face, "Well I got what I needed, so I guess I'll see you later," She left him alone in the dark library.

The next evening, Hermione went down to the Great Hall to help tutor some students. She told Draco she was leaving before she left. When she got to the end of the hall, she turned around because she forgot her quill. But when she turned she saw Astoria walking up to their door. So she decided against it and continued onto the dorm, trying not to think about the Slyhteirn girl.

But if she were to be honest, Astoria was gorgeous. She was probably a bombshell to most guys at Hogwarts. Plus, over this past summer Astoria had grown and matured. Hermione may have not known the Slytherin too well, or what her personality was like before and after. But what Hermione could tell was that Astoria could pass for an older witch than Hermione, and Astoria was actually two years younger. Hermione wasn't the girl to get jealous easily, but she had to admit that Astoria made her skin crawl. Astoria had the perfect body, the beautiful face, she had the pureblood and the wealthy status. Astoria had everything that Hermione could never have. (Including Draco, which Hermione clearly didn't care about). And so maybe that's why she hated seeing her around Draco. Maybe she felt threatened by Astoria's very presence.

"Astoria?" Draco opened the door. Before he could ask her to leave, she pushed him inside, shut the door, and threw her arms around him. She began kissing him forcefully, making Draco hesitant. But after a few moments, he started to enjoy it. After all, it had been a long time since anyone loved him, or at least pretended to love him. So he kept quiet in between kisses.

"Draco, did you miss me?" Astoria questioned before kissing him once more.

"Yes," He whispered as she pushed him onto the couch.

She started to unbutton his white shirt. He kept his hands on her hips as she kissed his neck.

Her lips collided with his again as she fell onto him. "Say you love me, Draco." Astoria pulled away from him gently and looked at him. "Just say the words and this will work out."

Draco bit his bottom lip and let out a sigh. He sat up on the couch and shook his head. Whenever a girl asked him that, he always had to abort mission. There was no way he was going to say 'I love you' to someone he didn't love. Draco might have been a player before the War, but he certainly wasn't going to score under false pretentions.

"Astoria, you're a great girl." Draco started.

"I've heard this speech enough times to know that means I need to leave." She stood up.

"Astoria, wait…I really do care about you. I just don't love you." Draco tried to explain.

"There it is." Astoria nodded dejectedly. "I got it. I guess I won't see you around, Draco. It was fun while it lasted."

Hermione left the tutor session early because some of the kids got sick. Hermione walked up to the door as Astoria came out of it, with her hair a little messy. Astoria shared a glance at Hermione before turning around and leaving. Hermione looked over to Draco who's shirt was wrinkled and unbuttoned. Her eyes narrowed on Draco, and for some reason she felt a fire starting in her stomach, working her way through the rest of her body. She brushed harshly passed Draco and then went to her room. He followed closely behind her.

"What are you all bent out of shape about? It's not past ten!" Draco stood in the doorway of her room.

"What did she come over for?"

"What does it matter?" Draco entered her room. "I thought we already talked about this. I get to have company over whenever I want as long as I respect your space. You weren't even here."

"I know, it's just..."

"No, stop justifying your actions, damn it!" Draco told her. "You can't set rules with me and then get upset when I follow them. That doesn't make any sense."

"You're right. It doesn't." Hermione shook her head. "Forget about it."

Draco watched her moving her belongings around. He didn't want to fight, yet he didn't want to talk to her. So he went to his room where he laid down on his bed and stared at the ceiling. After several minutes he walked to his window and started folding some clothes. He pulled out his black trousers and watched as a letter fell from it. With everything going on, Draco had completely forgot to give the letter to Hermione. He debated giving the letter to her now, but he decided it probably wasn't a good time. Draco put the letter in his dresser and decided to give it to her when they were on normal speaking terms. Until then, he decided he was going to lay low.

* * *

The next morning Draco heard a knock on the door. He waited in bed, hoping that Hermione would get up and get it. But he heard the shower was on, so he knew she wasn't able to get it. Groaning, Draco left his room and opened up the door. Standing on the other side was none other than Ron Weasley. The two shared an awkward silence with one another until Draco finally opened the door wide enough for the boy to come in. Ron walked around the room, noticing the way it was set up. Draco was happy that him and Hermione didn't sleep on the couch the night before. He couldn't imagine that would have gone over well with Ron.

"She's in the shower," Draco told Ron as he walked into the kitchen, getting a drink.

"So this is your living arrangement?" Ron turned to see the Slytherin boy.

"I take it you aren't adjusting well to this." Draco sat up on the kitchen counter.

"Ever since the school year started, she's been drawn away from me. Why is that?"

"Maybe my beauty has just stunned her." Draco sarcastically said, "You never know, she might be desperately in love with me, and ergo, has no time for you."

"You think this is funny, Malfoy?" Ron got closer to him.

"No, I find it hilarious. You're freaked out because Granger's been busy and hasn't had time to write you? She's Head Girl now, Ron. She has a lot of responsibility."

"Shut up."

"Wow, you're really worked up over this, aren't you? Poor Weasel," Draco dropped down from the countertop and headed towards his bedroom.

When Hermione got out of the bathroom, she saw Ron standing in front of the fireplace. She walked to him and hugged him tightly, but Ron didn't wrap his arms around her. He didn't say hello, he didn't smile. He just stated that they needed to talk, and they needed to go somewhere private. So Hermione quickly grabbed a jacket and went to follow him down by the lake so that they could have some privacy.

"What's wrong, Ron?" Hermione nibbled on her bottom lip, concerned that maybe she did something wrong.

"You didn't have to lie." Ron told her. "You could have told me that you read the letter and that you didn't agree."

"I didn't get to read the letter, Ron. And I didn't lie, I told you, I lost it." Hermione tried to explain to him. "I wouldn't lie to you, Ron."

"I shouldn't have done this the way I did." Ron shook his head. "Listen, you and I are over. I can't continue a relationship with someone who is going to lie, and act like things didn't happen when they clearly did."

"I didn't get that letter, Ron." Hermione shook her head. "I don't know what else you want me to say. I'm sorry."

"You freaked out about what it said, so now you're punishing me for it!" Ron yelled, "I can't be in a relationship with someone who just shuts me out whenever she needs me. I don't work well like that. And it's clear that Draco is doing a better job being there for you than I am. So feel free to continue whatever the two of you have going on."

"What are you talking about?" Hermione cried, "I can assure you that there is nothing going on between Draco and I. We have to share a dorm together because we are Head Boy and Head Girl, I explained it all in the letter I sent you. Didn't you get it?"

"Oh, no, I must have lost it." Ron smart mouthed back to her.

"Why are you acting so immature? This isn't the person I love and care about." Hermione crossed her arms.

"You've made that quite clear. So I'm letting you go. Do whatever the Hell you want, just stay away from me." Ron shook his head and started to walk away. But then he turned around and stared at Hermione for a few moments. "When you finish the school year, don't come back to my apartment. I'll take your things to Harry's place, you can pick them up from there."

Hermione stood open mouthed and wide eyed at the ginger who was now walking away from her—and more than just figuratively speaking. She sat down on the rocks near the water and watched carefully. What had just happened? Everything that she had been hoping for, everything she had been relying on was now ripped out from underneath her. She had no place to go once she graduated, and she didn't have a boyfriend to go to if she needed him. On top of that, her friends had been pulling away from her, so now…she had nothing and no one.

She wasn't surprised that Ron had been upset with her. He never dealt well with being physically apart from her. But to act this outrageous over a letter was absolutely insane. They had known each other too well to just throw everything away now. But that's what he did. He even came in person to make sure it was clear that there was no chance of them ever getting back together. Her heart dropped as she nestled her head into her knees and sobbed. How could everything crumble down so quickly? What had been in the letter that got him so upset?

"Granger?" Draco called out. "Granger?"

It had been ten hours since Ron and Hermione broke up. She was still in the same position that she was when she was crying. At this point, her heart was aching and her lips were trembling, but she was out of tears to cry. Hermione heard her name being called out in the distance, but she didn't turn to look. She stared out at the water that was lit only by the moon now. Footsteps came to her side and Draco knelt down beside her.

"Come on, Granger," He helped her up off the ground. They stayed quiet as they went back to their rooms. Though he wasn't sure exactly what happened, he could conclude that their relationship was either on the brinks or completely destroyed. He helped Hermione to the couch and then lit the fire. He grabbed a blanket to wrap around her. The night chill was frosting Hermione's skin and she hadn't even realized it. All she felt was numb.

"He broke up with me." Hermione finally said after thirty minutes of silence. "He broke up with me, Draco."

"That's his loss." Draco told her.

"No, it's my loss." She shook her head and suddenly started feeling tears coming from her eyes.

"Granger, don't…don't cry," Draco was probably the worst person in the world at comforting people—let alone crying people. He wasn't sure if he should put his arm on her back, or if it would be too weird. He wasn't sure if he should say something else, or whether he should try to distract her. So Hermione continued to cry and eventually she rested her head on his chest. Draco took this as a hint that it was okay to put his arms around her. They sat in front of the fire on the couch for an hour like this, before Hermione eventually fell asleep. Draco's back was beginning to hurt, so he faced towards the fire, and gently rested her head on his lap instead. For a few moments he ran his hands through her hair, trying to soothe her. Then he rested his head back on a pillow. "You know, Granger," He stated, fully aware that she was fast asleep. "You deserve better, anyway."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Firewhiskey

Auhtor's Note: Hello readers! I would just like to thank you all again for your wonderful reviews. They really help me to keep writing! For this chapter, I would really suggest listening to Another Love by Tom Odell. (Side note: It's truly a beautiful song with a great music video). I hope you all enjoy the new chapter! Please leave reviews and tell me what you think so far. Happy reading!

* * *

"Granger," Draco broke the silence.

"Draco?" Hermione opened her eyes, looking confused. "What…oh…" Things suddenly started to make sense to her. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…"

"Don't apologize," Draco shook his head, "I just have practice."

"Practice?" Hermione stood up from the couch and ran her fingers through her knotty hair.

"Quidditch," He answered as he went to the bathroom to shower.

Hermione sat back down on the couch once she heard the water start. She wiped her eyes and thought about what happened the night before. It seemed like it was just a dream. None of it should have happened. She pulled her hair into a bun and then decided to make a quick visit to see Ginny and Luna. Maybe they would have some light on the situation. But when she finally spotted the girls in the courtyard, Ginny immediately walked into the castle. Hermione walked towards Luna who became rather shy suddenly. What had she done to be treated like this?

"Luna, please…"

"This probably isn't the best time." Luna whispered.

"I don't care," Hermione shook her head, "I just want someone to be honest with me. I want someone to tell me what was in that letter. I want someone to explain to me why Ron came to see me last night and broke up with me. It isn't fair!"

"I know it's not fair…none of this is fair." Luna shook her head.

"And why is she mad at me? I'm so sick of being the bad guy all the time! It's so exhausting! I was made Head Girl this year, so I'm busy. And I have to room with Draco, there is no way around it. I worked my ass for years trying to get this spot. I'm not going to turn it down just because of him! And no one should expect me to—especially not my friends!" Hermione hollered, "And I'm sick of being disliked because I've been more reserved lately. My parents were just murdered by some evil men with a vengeance. I know everyone went through things, I know I'm not the only one who lost people. But everyone adjusts differently. And for some people this is easier, and for others this is terribly hard. So I'm sorry for being human, I'm sorry for not being as strong as everyone else is!"

"Hermione…" Luna meekly said.

"No, let me finish, Luna! I am bottled up all the time, cooped up in that room working on projects, studying for exams, and trying to keep up with all the responsibilities of Head Girl, and trust me, it's not easy! I'm going through a hard time, I told you guys that. I'm not me right now, and I'm sorry. But I don't deserve to be treated like I'm such a terrible person. I'm still your friend, I still care about you, and Ginny, and Ron, and everyone else. I don't know what else I could have possibly done. I lost a stupid letter that apparently meant the world to Ron. And he thinks I lied, I didn't lie, I wouldn't lie!" Hermione cried out, "That's not me…you know that's not me. I'm so tired of everyone acting like I'm some changed person who doesn't give a damn about anyone. I care about all of you! If anything, that's my problem. I care too much about everyone!"

"Hermione, people are starting to stare…" Luna glanced around at the passing students.

"I don't care…I don't have it in me to care anymore. My heart is broken, Luna. My heart is broken, because Ron came over yesterday to break up with me in person. He let go of me, and he just left. And now, you and Ginny are all I have left, and I'm trying to make a good effort, I'm trying to be a good person, and she can't even look at me? She won't even stop for a second to see how I'm doing or ask how I've been? We're supposed to be friends! Why are we not friends?" Hermione felt tears coming to her eyes.

"Oh my…" Luna paused for a moment, "You…you don't know, do you?"

"What?" Hermione's eyes widened.

"You haven't heard?" Luna took a step closer to Hermione.

"Heard what?" Hermione lowered her voice, feeling her heart beginning to beat faster.

"Ron used the flying car to get here yesterday. He didn't stop to talk to Ginny, apparently he was too upset to. But Ginny and I saw the flying car when he was driving away…" Luna paused, feeling a knot in her throat. "Hermione, Molly Weasley told Ginny this morning that Ron got into an accident. Hermione, Ron died last night."

"N—no," Hermione shook her head, "No, you're lying."

"We should get you inside." Luna tried to move her.

"No, that's not true. He was just here…he was…you're lying."

"I'm not lying." Luna shook her head, "Hermione, I'm so sorry."

Hermione went straight from the courtyard to her room. When she got to her room, she slammed the door. She felt her heart breaking when she reached the end of the bed. Opening up her trunk, she pulled out all of her belongings throwing them around the room. She emptied out her drawers; she pulled out everything in her closet. All of her belongings were stretched out across every inch of the floor. She screamed as loud as she could and banged her head against the wall a few times, until she slid down, curling herself up into a ball. Hermione stayed like that for a few moments, before getting up again. This time, she was more angry than sad. She grabbed posters from her wall and started to rip them into shreds. She got ahold of the pictures of her and Ron and she began shredding them and throwing them out the window. Picking up the picture frame of her, Ron and Harry, Hermione threw it across the room, hit the wall, and watched as the glass shattered. She shoved her dresser over onto its side, forcing all of the drawers to open up and slide down out of it. Screaming again, Hermione became enraged. Ripping off her sheets, she threw them onto the floor and pushed the mattress over onto its side. She took a glass cup and threw it against the back of her door, shattering it into a million pieces. Finally, she sat down on the only visible part of the floor, holding her knees to her chest and rocking back and forth, trying to calm herself down.

Draco opened up the door to find Hermione in this state. Thankfully, he had heard the news from the Quidditch team, and wouldn't need to have her explain anything to him. He considered saying something to her, but he wasn't sure what to say. Nothing that came out of his mouth could make anything that she was going through any easier. So he picked up her mattress and put it back onto her bed. He picked up the dresser and settled it against the wall. Draco picked up each of the drawers individually and put them in their proper places. He gathered her sheets and blankets and made her bed up. After sweeping up the broken glass, Draco started putting her clothes up on hangers and placing them back where they belonged. Finally, he put the rest of her belongings in the trunk on the foot of her bed. He placed her bag on top of the trunk and then sat down beside it. He bent over and picked up the pieces of posters and photographs. He found the wood part of the picture frame and put it back together. Placing the pieces of paper on her bed, Draco sat on the side of her bed, facing towards her.

"Granger," Draco said.

"Please...just go away." Hermione managed to say, with her face still hidden.

"Okay," He stood up and closed her bedroom door behind him.

* * *

Hermione kept to herself for the next several weeks. Often times she missed classes and Draco would bring her home the assignments she missed. Every once in a while, he would come in to check on her, but she never seemed to want him around. One Thursday evening, Draco brought in some homework to Hermione. She was sitting up in the windowsill, staring out at the water. He walked up beside her and passed her the papers he had for her. Her hands reached out to grab the paper, but she didn't look at him.

"Granger, you might need me to explain this homework to you." Draco suggested, "It's a bit advanced."

"I think I can handle it." Hermione sounded so monotone.

"Our professors are really concerned about you." Draco put his hands in his pockets.

"They have enough on their mind."

"Your friends are starting to worry," Draco offered.

"I don't have any friends." Hermione bit back.

"I'm worried about you, Granger." Draco tried hard not to let her last remark sting too bad, but he had to admit, it fueled some rage inside of him.

"I'll be fine."

"Can you look at me?" Draco felt like he was talking to a wall. Slowly, Hermione turned around to face him. He was shocked by how thin she was looking. Her cheeks her smaller, her body frame was more petite than it already was, and she looked like she was forming dark rings under her eyes from lack of sleep. "When was the last time you ate?"

"I don't know," Hermione put her feet on the ground.

"Let me make you dinner,"

"I'm okay," She tried to stand up, but she felt too weak.

"Granger, you have to take care of yourself." Draco helped her to the couch and then started making her some food. "Listen, I know you've been…um, preoccupied…with everything. So I made some final decisions for the dance coming up next week. I hope you don't mind."

"No, that's fine," Hermione took a deep breath.

"So, I know this is probably terrible of me to ask you, and all. But do you have a dress, yet? I just want to make sure that we'll be matching." Draco picked up his wand.

"No, I didn't pick out a dress. And I'm not sure if I'm even going to go." Hermione shook her head.

"What? But you were really looking forward to going." Draco walked over to her.

"It's just a dance."

"It's your last dance at Hogwarts." Draco looked at her, "I won't let you miss it, Hermione. I know that you don't _really_ want to miss it."

"You don't know the first thing about me." Hermione roughly replied.

"Okay, I have been going really far out of my way for you. I cleaned up after your little tantrum, I've been giving you your space, I've been picking up homework for you, I've been apologizing to other people on your behalf, and I've been making final decisions for you. Don't sit here and act like I don't know anything about you. I am deeply sorry that Ron passed away. It's horrible and it sucks, but at some point you're going to have to move on from it. Ron was the one who died, Granger, not you." Draco walked back into the kitchen and finished preparing food. Both of them kept quiet until dinner was finally made.

"I'm sorry," Hermione said lightly, "I shouldn't be treating you like this. I'm really thankful for everything you've done for me."

"It's okay, things have been stressful lately." Draco took a deep breath. "Hey, I know something that might get your mind off of things."

"What's that?" Hermione took a drink of water.

"I have a Qudditch game tomorrow. After the game, I thought I could invite the guys back here to celebrate. It would just be a small party, nothing big. But I could introduce you to some of my teammates. I know a lot of them have been asking about you." Draco leaned against the counter.

"I'm not much of a party goer."

"Well technically, you'd be more of a party thrower." Draco laughed at his own joke, but then stopped when he saw Hermione's face.

"Draco, did you already tell them that I'd be here?" Hermione asked.

"Yes," He nodded, "I just assumed you'd be more enthused about this."

"I just can't imagine that they'd want to go to a party where there would be a mudblood like me." Hermione shook her head, "I was part of the infamous trio, you know."

"You don't know how to let things go, do you?" Draco stared at her for a moment. "My teammates don't care about your status, Granger. They genuinely feel bad about everything that's going on. And they'd like to actually meet you the proper way. So I assumed the party was a good idea."

"Okay, I'll do it." Hermione poked at her food.

* * *

When Hermione woke up, she quickly got in the shower and got dressed. When she started brushing her hair, she watched Draco walk out of his room and towards the living room. He paused and turned around to see her.

"You feeling okay, today?" He had his Quidditch gear on.

"I'm alright." Hermione nodded, "I don't know if I'll see the game, though. I'll clean up around here instead and get things ready, okay?"

"Okay," Draco moved towards her. "Granger, I'm proud of you." He gently pushed her chin up so that their eyes were level. "I'll see you after the game."

"See you," Hermione tried to give him a smile.

She spent the entire day cleaning up their place, and preparing some snacks. After cleaning the bathroom, Hermione put on just a little bit of makeup to cover up the dark circles under her eyes. She then went to her room and put on a nice pair of jeans and cute shirt that she hadn't used since summer. Hermione decided to keep her hair down, with its natural, bushy waves. Once she was finished, she made herself a cup of tea and waited for the game to be over. But before she could host the party, there was a knock on the door. Taking a deep breath, Hermione walked around the counter and to the door. She opened it up, and her eyes widened.

"Hermione," Astoria stood on the other side. "I heard that the party is here tonight?"

"Yes,"

"Well, I just wanted to stop by beforehand and talk to Draco about something."

"He's not here yet."

"Well in that case," Astoria entered the room, "I would like to talk to you about something."

"Please, come in," Hermione sarcastically said, "What do you want, Astoria?"

"I just want to check in with you. I heard that your boyfriend passed away." Astoria mentioned. "Did you go to his funeral?"

"That's none of your business." Hermione bit her bottom lip.

"I'll take that as a no." She ran her hand through her thick hair. "I was just curious to know where you and Draco stand."

"We tolerate one another." Hermione crossed her arms, "But what does that matter to you?"

"Listen, I'm only trying to help you out here. I know Draco better than you do, Hermione. Slytherin won today, which means him and his friends are going to come back and party. And if I know anything about Draco, I know he likes to party. So prepare yourself, because there will be alcohol, and trust me, Slytherin boys love their alcohol. I wouldn't be surprised if they got a little crazy. Draco will probably drink more than usual because he's been stressed out lately." Astoria began.

"Why are you telling me this? I can handle this party on my own." Hermione firmly looked at the girl.

"Hopefully," Astoria smirked, "But I don't know if you can handle the drunk Draco. He's incredibly…needy."

"He's not going to get drunk, Astoria. Please leave, now." Hermione headed towards the door to open it for her.

"Listen, I'm only telling you this so that if things get out of control…whether people are fighting or—well, anything. I won't be far if you need help." Astoria walked towards the door. "Draco used to have a problem with drinking. When he's intoxicated he does things that he wouldn't normally do."

"Typically, that's how alcohol works," Hermione snapped.

"Yes, but Draco has a bigger problem than most guys his age. I just want to give you a heads up that he might act differently, or say things that he doesn't mean. I just don't want you getting hurt or upset by anything he does or says. Just remember that whatever happens tonight…it's the alcohol talking, not him." Astoria gave her a tight smile.

"No offense, Astoria, but why would someone like you ever help someone like me?" Hermione opened up the door.

"Because pitying people makes me sick, Hermione. You parents were murdered, your boyfriend breaks up with you, and now he's dead too. You have to bunk with your enemy, and you're a mess. Frankly, the entire school pities you." Astoria pushed her hair behind her ear.

"I don't want your pity." Hermione said through gritted teeth.

"Do you really think that all Slytherins are completely heartless?" Astoria wondered as she stepped outside of the door.

"No, Astoria, I don't. But tell me this, what side did you fight for?" Hermione's body tensed up.

"What side won, Granger?" Astoria asked with a small laugh. "And how exactly do you think that sign won?"

Hermione stood silently on the other side of the wall. She had never once considered that maybe some people who were fighting on the other side weren't actually on Voldemort's side. Even Draco admitted that he was ready for the War because he wanted Voldemort to die. Maybe that's how many people felt. Some people joined that side merely because they knew they'd be killed if they weren't. Voldemort's greatest weapon was fear. But rightfully, his fear was crushed by hope and bravery.

"I'll see you around, Hermione," Astoria left Hermione standing in the doorway.

* * *

Within moments, the room started filling up with Slytherin Quidditch players and their close friends. Hermione stood off to the side and wondered how many of them fought for a side they weren't even on. She wondered how many of them barely escaped death. Then she thought about all the people who died and how every person in the room lost someone they loved. Hell—every student at Hogwarts lost someone they loved. These students that she had viewed as monsters for so many years…they were just scared, and misunderstood. And now, here Hermione was, scared and misunderstood by so many. She was one of them, and for at least one night, she felt like she finally belonged somewhere.

"Granger," Draco walked into the living room with a drink in his hands.

"Astoria stopped by earlier." Hermione leaned against the fireplace.

"And what did she want?" Draco curiously asked.

"Not sure, but she gave me a fair warning."

"About?" Draco inquired, but before Hermione replied one of his teammates came up.

"Hermione Granger," Blaise Zabini offered a handshake.

"It's been awhile," Hermione smiled politely.

"Listen, I'm sorry to hear about everything. But tonight, you should try to let all of that go, okay?" Blaise handed her a cup.

"What's this?" Hermione took the cup from his hand.

"Blaise, I don't think she'd do well with that." Draco tried taking the cup from Hermione.

"Wait, no…I want to know what it is." Hermione insisted.

"It's Firewhiskey," Blaise said. "You've never tried it before?"

"No," Hermione shook her head. "Butterbeer is the only drink that I've had with alcohol in it. But the content is so low…I'm not sure if that even counts."

"It doesn't," Blaise laughed.

"Granger, you don't have to drink it." Draco reached for it.

"I know I don't have to." Hermione looked down at the glass. "But I think I want to."

"This isn't some peer pressure thing, where someone is going to make you feel like you should drink, even when you don't want to. Granger, it's not a big deal if you don't want to drink it, no one's forcing you to." Draco stammered.

"Draco, calm down," Blaise took a step back. "Let the girl do whatever she wants to do." Then Blaise excused himself to talk to some other teammates.

"Granger—"

"I want to." Hermione gave him a stern look before taking a sip of the liquor.

"What do you think?"

"It's…different." Hermione noted, as she took another drink. Draco softly laughed as he took a sip of his own drink.

"The guys seem to like you," Draco looked around the room.

"I'm shocked."

"Well, the guys are really moving on and growing up. So I think this party is good for them." Draco's eyes found Hermione again.

"Yeah, I think it's been good for me too." She took another drink and watched as some of the guests started laughing at a joke that a teammate had just made.

* * *

An hour later, Hermione filled up her cup for the fourth time. A Slytherin boy commented on how sick she would be in the morning. But Hermione didn't pay him much attention. A few minutes later, Hermione stumbled to the bathroom. She splashed water on her face to help wake her up. She was beginning to feel dizzy as she dropped her glass. A sharp yelp came from the bathroom when a shard of glass cut into her hand. Draco was the first to reach the bathroom. Although he had a few drinks in him, he was well enough to clean up the mess and bandage her wound. Draco picked Hermione up and sat her on the sink before properly wrapping her hand up. Draco then looked up at her to see an expression he had never seen on her face before.

"Granger, are you alright?" Draco took a step closer to her.

"Yeah," She looked down at her wound, "It's kind of funny, actually. I was just thinking about my blood. I cut my hand and you rushed to help me. You—Draco Malfoy—touched a mudblood's blood. Isn't that crazy? Wasn't it just a few years ago that you hated me for having filthy blood?"

"You aren't filthy, Granger. And you never were." Draco admitted. Tere was an awkward silence before he spoke again, "Are you having a good time?" His hands touched her knees.

"I am," Hermione smiled, "Are you?"

"Yes," Draco gave her a mischievous glance. "Granger…let's not be ourselves tonight."

"What?" Hermione laughed, having a hard time understanding what he was saying.

"Let's both be someone else. No past, no future, just now." Draco looked at her longingly.

"Draco, what are you getting at?" Hermione took a deep breath, trying to focus on him so that she wouldn't be seeing doubles.

Draco stood there, trying to think of the words to say. But nothing came to his cloudy mind. Taking yet another step closer to her, Draco's hands moved to her jawline as he kissed her for a long moment. Hermione pulled away, and her lips parted slowly. He could tell by her eyes that she was not expecting that to happen. They stared at one another, hoping that the other would speak first. Eventually, Draco took a step back and shook his head. He knew then that he had done wrong.

"Granger, I shouldn't have…I'm sorry," He gave her a sad look as he left the bathroom hurriedly.

Hermione sat on the bathroom counter for a few moments. She put her hand over her mouth and felt where Draco had kissed her. Her tongue was still burning with the mix of his alcoholic drink and hers. Placing her hands on the counter, she slid down to the ground and went back to the party. Draco was already talking to people, and acting as if nothing had happened. So Hermione tried to act the same. But it wasn't long before people started leaving. When everyone cleared out, Hermione was leaning against the wall. She took the last sip of Firewhiskey before putting the cup in the sink and rinsing it out. Thankfully, there weren't too many people at the party and therefore there wasn't a huge mess to pick up. Hermione watched Draco throw away the last plate before turning around to face her.

Call it lack of judgment, call it too much alcohol, call it delusional—call it anything you will. But for whatever reckless reason, Hermione pushed herself away from the wall. And she walked straight over to Draco who was behind the kitchen counter. He opened his mouth to speak, but her lips crashed into his before he could say a word. Her arms reached around his neck, and she tried to hold him closer. Draco's hands held her waist as he kissed her back, accidently stumbling backwards into the wall. His hands found the curve of her back, so he pulled her closer to him. He felt her warm scent and he felt like he was going crazy. He pulled away from her in a heated moment and shook his head.

"Granger," He tried to catch his breath. "I—I don't want to do something that you're going to regret in the morning."

"Draco, I want to forget about everything else. Please, let me forget about everything else." Hermione felt her face turn a bright shade of pink.

"Okay," Draco pulled her back in as he held tightly onto her.

Hermione couldn't exactly piece together the rest of the night. All she could remember was snapshots of different things happening. At one point, she was on the kitchen counter, kissing his neck. At another point, they were on the couch. But her last memory was of her and Draco kissing against a wall, and then tumbling down onto his bed. Everything after that was a complete blur.

Hermione opened her eyes, confused that the ceiling wasn't a beautiful shade of red. She was confused to see that the covers she was wrapped up in were green and black. But she was mostly confused to why her clothes were lying on the floor beside the bed. Hermione turned to see Draco facing the other direction. Quickly, Hermione dressed herself and went to the bathroom. She looked down at her bandaged hand and remembered Draco kissing her the night before. Scenes began to play out through her head and Hermione suddenly became ill. She threw up a few times before her stomach finally settled down. Hermione brushed her teeth and then walked out into the living room. How could she have been so stupid? What was she thinking? Drinking? That wasn't normal for her. And neither was kissing Draco. Or sleeping with him-especially when Ron had only been dead for about a month now. Feeling guilty, Hermione took a deep breath. She heard footsteps coming from behind her, making her stop dead in her tracks.

"Granger?"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Be Careful

"Granger, the sheets..."

"I know," Hermione said lightly. "I know, I'm sorry. I don't…I don't know what came over us."

"Alcohol," Draco responded, trying to make sense of what happened. "Granger, I feel awful. Your first time shouldn't have been like this. I had just assumed that you and Ron…"

"No," Hermione stopped him. "Look, I may not remember much, but I can still piece together what happened. We both got what we wanted. We wanted to get wasted and forget about everything and everyone. So that's what we did."

"You're not mad?" Draco took a step closer.

"Not at you," Hermione replied.

"You're mad at yourself?" Draco seemed a bit confused.

"Yeah, aren't you mad at yourself?" There was no reply to Hermione's question. It was obvious that Draco didn't regret what he did.

"Well, I'm going to get in the shower." Draco walked away.

"Wait," Hermione called out. "Draco, just so we're clear…you and I…we could never work out, right?"

"No, no, of course not," Draco shook his head. "Alcohol just got the best of us."

Hermione stood by the fireplace, resting her head against the stone. There went her dream of wearing a white wedding dress. Opening her eyes slightly, Hermione heard a knock on her door. Still feeling nauseous, she pulled her hair back and opened the door. Not so much to her surprise, Astoria was standing on the other side. When she saw Hermione's physical state, she couldn't help but to laugh.

"Too much to drink?" Astoria's eyes shined brightly.

"Go away," Hermione groaned.

"The place doesn't look like a trash heap, I'm so surprised." Astoria noted.

"Astoria, what do you want?"

"I just want to know what happened last night." Astoria softly spoke, "Is Draco here or did he sneak off with Pansy?"

"He's in the shower. If you were so concerned about this party, why didn't you just come over?"

"I wasn't invited," Astoria gave Hermione a harsh glance. "Well look at you, Granger. Tell me, did you sneak off with some guy from the party?"

"I didn't sneak off," Hermione stated, "And neither did Draco."

Astoria lightly brushed against Hermione as she made her way into Draco's room.

"Astoria wait," Hermione followed after her. But she was too late. Astoria saw, and now she knew. Draco emerged from the bathroom, with a towel around his waist.

"How could you?" Astoria hollered at Hermione. "I thought we were friends!"

"Friends? I don't know if I'd go that far…" Hermione offered, sounded meek.

"Why do you think I came over here before the party? Why do think I've talked to you before? I'm trying so hard, and it's like you don't even care. You knew how I felt about him! You knew that I still cared about him, and then you slept with him?" Astoria had tears in her eyes.

"Astoria, please, listen. I can explain…" Hermione started.

"No," Astoria cut her off, "I don't want to hear your excuses." She stomped off into the living room.

"Astoria, wait. You're mad at me, not Granger." Draco went after her.

"Oh, I'm not mad at you, Draco. I'm _**disgusted**_ by you." Astoria looked at him square in the eye. "You slept with a Gryffindor mudblood. Are you happy with yourself?"

"Astoria," Draco began.

"Not to mention, she's Potter's friend. Living with her and tolerating her is one thing, Malfoy. Sleeping with her is entirely different!" Astoria cried out. "I am so repulsed by you."

"Stop," Draco demanded.

"And what about your blood now, Draco?" Astoria asked with wicked eyes. "How pure do you think you are?"

"Leave," Draco opened the door for her.

"You should have known better, Draco. You dropped your status, and don't think I won't tell." Astoria bit down on every word she said.

"Get out!" Draco yelled so loud that Astoria practically ran out the door. She gave a long look to me before disappearing out of sight.

"This was a mistake," Hermione shook her head, "This was one big mistake. All of this."

"What?" Draco turned to her.

"I shouldn't have even come back. I should have moved in with Ron. Then none of this would have happened. He wouldn't be dead right now, we'd probably be engaged, we'd be planning to have kids, in a nice home. We would be settling down right now. Not breaking up and becoming things we thought we'd never become. Look at us, Draco. We are enemies. We will always be enemies. People are always going to hate me because I'm a mudblood, people are always going to hate you because of your family name and status. You have it all, and you threw it away last night because we both had too much to drink." Hermione paused, "I wish I could take it all back."

"Granger, don't feel that way." Draco tried to put his hands on her to calm her down, but she pulled away.

"Why didn't you stop me? Why didn't you push me away? Draco, we're so good at pushing each other away." Hermione cried, "Why couldn't we have fought last night. We could have got angry and threw things around. We could have been just sat by the fire and made jokes until we fell asleep. Why did we have to do what we did?"

"Granger,"

"No, don't 'Granger' me. Don't tell me that things are going to be okay. Don't tell me that things work out for a reason. Don't tell me anything! Just stay away from me, Malfoy! That's all I ever wanted from you. I told you that the first day we came back. I told you to leave me alone and to stay away! Why couldn't you listen? Why didn't you just continue to hate me, Draco? I want you to hate me! Be repulsed by me. Hate me, Draco! Hate me, I deserved to be hated." Hermione had tears running down her face.

"No," Draco shook his head, "No, you're looking at this all wrong, Granger. This is good for us, for both of us. Sure, last night shouldn't have happened. But we've gotten over our differences. We've been learning how to get along and put the past behind us. That's healthy, Granger. That's the only way that we can move on from everything that's happened."

"I don't want to move on, Draco! I'm stuck, okay? I'm stuck, and I don't want to move on! I can't move on. Why can't anyone get that? I'm hurt, I'm mourning, I'm furious, I'm weak! I need time! I just need more time."

"You're always going to need more time," Draco shook his head. "You've had your time to grieve. You've given yourself plenty of space, and you've separated yourself from everyone else around you for too long. It is time to move on."

"No,"

"Moving on doesn't mean that you don't still struggle. Moving on doesn't mean that it doesn't still hurt. It doesn't mean that you won't cry sometimes, or that you won't break glasses against walls. Moving on means that you're healing from the hurt, and that you're slowly but surely pushing forward. Granger, if you don't accept that…I don't think there's anything that anyone can do to help you." Draco kept a low voice. "You feel betrayed, I understand that. You feel neglected, I understand that. You feel guilty, trust me—I get that. Everything you're feeling right now, I have felt at one point or another. Just like all of your other friends, Granger. Now more than ever is when you should be going to them, or coming to me. You should be reaching out more instead of pushing everyone else away."

"I'm just so good at screwing everything up." Hermione wiped her face, "I used to have my life so together. I was on top of everything…and now I'm not. Now I'm terrified of everything."

"But it won't be long before you have your life together again." Draco assured her. "You're going to get through this."

"Draco," Hermione looked up at him, "Thank you." She leaned upwards and kissed him on the cheek, before grabbing a jacket and leaving the room.

Draco stood in his room and finished getting dressed. He walked over to his dresser and searched for a tie to wear. His eyes scanned the drawer until he found the letter. Amazed by his forgetfulness, Draco pulled it out and then sat on his bed. He finished opening the letter and then unfolded it so he could read it. Draco figured giving her the letter would be heartbreaking right now, but he wanted to make sure that the letter wasn't of too much importance. Skimming the first few lines, Draco tried not to pay attention to the mushy stuff that Ron wrote. When he got to the bottom of letter, he saw that Ron had asked her to marry him. Draco's eyes widened as he quickly put the letter in its envelope and then shoved it away into his dresser. That's why Ron had been so upset. He figured that Hermione had read the letter, didn't want to deal with it, so she pretended she had lost it. Shaking his head, Draco felt so furious at himself. This stupid letter had caused so much damage to their relationship. Trying not to blame himself, Draco grabbed some of his books and left the corridor to go study elsewhere.

* * *

Hermione was studying in the library by herself when Luna sat down across from her. The girls looked at one another for a long moment before speaking. Hermione had to admit that she felt uncomfortable giving the circumstances. She was sure that Luna blamed her for Ron getting into the accident, just as Hermione blamed herself. She couldn't even imagine the way Ginny felt about Hermione right now. Their friendship was already on the brinks, let alone having Ron passing away on top of it. Hermione didn't even want to begin to imagine what the girls would think when they found out what happened between her and Draco the night before.

"How are you holding up?" Luna asked, flipping through a book.

"I'm okay, you?"

"Fine." Luna replied back too quickly.

"How is Ginny?" Hermione leaned over the table, trying to be discrete.

"She's pretty upset. But I think with time she'll be fine." Luna explained. "Listen, I know we haven't talked too much this year. But you and Ginny are my best friends. The beginning of the year, you could barely talk to us. And now, it seems like Ginny barely talks to me. More importantly, you both have been shying away from me. I'm hurting too, Hermione. I was his friend, too. And I know what it's like to lose someone. But I don't need the two of you pushing me out of your lives just because you're scared. I have always been here for the both of you, and I will continue to be here."

"Thank you," Hermione looked up to Luna and half smiled. "I actually really need a friend right now." She took a deep breath, "Luna, I made a big mistake. A mistake that I can't take back. And I need to tell someone, I need someone to tell me that I'm a terrible person."

"You're not a terrible person," Luna shook her head. "What happened?"

"Last night…after the Quidditch game, Draco had a small party at our place. His friends came over and they were being really nice to me." Hermione cleared her throat, "But there were drinks, and I had too much. The rest of the night was a blur, but when I woke up, I wasn't in my bed."

"Oh my…" Luna pulled her eyes away from her book. "Which floor did you end up at?"

"My own," Hermione gulped loudly.

"Your own?" Luna's eyes widened. "Hermione…you didn't—you didn't sleep with Draco, did you?"

Luna looked at Hermione's defeated composure. Clearly, Hermione had done wrong and was punishing herself for it now. Luna was upset at first. Ron hadn't been gone long enough for her to be seeing other people, let alone sleeping with them. But at the same time, Luna understood that Hermione probably needed to just let go for a night. She had been up in her room for practically a month, shielding herself away from the world. It was her one time to really talk to people, to at least pretend to feel something better than hurt. Even if she woke up the next morning on a different level of hurt, she would at least be able to remember the night she forgot about it. So Luna was sad, but she was happy at the same time. The girls were able to talk out some things to better understand where the other was coming from. Overall, both girls felt like their relationship was improving, even if it was just one long conversation. After they were done, Hermione hugged Luna tightly and apologized for pulling away when she should have been drawing closer to her.

"Where did you here that from?" Luna pulled away with curious eyes.

"Draco, actually," Hermione smiled.

"He's not a bad guy, Hermione." Luna offered before she grabbed her book and left.

* * *

A few days later, Hermione found herself in the library after hours. She decided that she needed to get ahead on her studies that way things would begin to feel normal again. As she turned the corner, Hermione heard footsteps. She quickly turned around to see who was there, but the library was empty. She decided that her mind was playing tricks on her and that she needed to finish getting what she needed and go. But after grabbing two more books from the shelves, Hermione felt a hand from behind her cover her mouth. Hermione immediately went into panic mode, but there was nothing she could do.

"Boo," Draco walked around her and laughed, "You're awful jumpy today."

"You shouldn't sneak around like that," Hermione scolded him as she took a deep breath.

Draco rested his hand on the shelf behind Hermione, and leaned over her, forcing her back up against the shelf. He loomed over her while he listened to the silence of the library. Hermione could smell mint from his breath, making her feel a bit woozy. From the angle she was at, she had to strain to look up at Draco. He looked so beautiful and carefree in that moment. His eyes wandered back down to hers and he gave her a cute smile.

"Be careful, Granger. You just might fall in love with me." He laughed.

"Oh please, you're giving yourself too much credit." Hermione playfully said.

"I don't know, Granger, you're just like a book." Draco told her.

"A book?" Hermione questioned, "Because I'm intelligent and bold?"

"Because you're boring," Draco stated with a serious face.

"That's cute," Hermione pulled away from the bookshelf and walked around the boy to another isle.

"It was a joke, lighten up," Draco followed closely behind her. "I was actually going to say that you're easy to read."

"You think I'm easy to read?" Hermione wondered.

"Yes, you would be surprised about how much your body language gives away. For example, when you're irritated your voice goes an octave higher."

"No it does not," Hermione's voice went a bit higher. "Okay, that doesn't count."

"Or how about when you get upset and you cross your arms." Draco noticed Hermione's crossed arms a few seconds before he made that statement.

"Draco," Hermione laughed, "Just because you can read body language doesn't mean you're a mind reader."

"I can read your mind." Draco caught Hermione against the stone wall. His right hand was on her left side, propping him up on the wall so that he was leaning over her. "Like right now, your face is going to get a bit red. And you're eyes are going to grow wider. And then you'll pout your lips just slightly because, although you don't know it, you want to kiss me. You want me to see your pouty lips and adore them so that I'll make the next move and kiss you. And if I kiss you, it's okay, because it's not the same as you kissing me."

Her eyes didn't move from his. She didn't dare reply back because she knew everything he was saying was true. As horrible as it was, she did want to kiss him. She wanted to have intimate moments with him that she could actually remember. And it was immoral, it was terrible, and they both should have known better. But with a sudden lapse of judgment, Hermione pretended not to care. Maybe this was part of her learning to move on. After all, it's not like she was never going to date again. She deserved to be happy, regardless of who she picked to spend her time with. It just so happened that at this moment, she wanted to be with Draco. Did those feelings mean something deeper? She didn't know. Was she possibly falling for him? She wasn't sure. There was only one question that she had a definite answer on.

"Granger, do you want me to kiss you?" Draco asked, still looming over her.

Hermione didn't have to speak, she merely nodded her head. His lips met hers, and for a moment Hermione remembered kissing him in the bathroom. She remembered the mix of their alcohol residing in her mouth. Hermione remembered the burn it left her, and she remembered that she liked it. But she remembered being too afraid to make a move until later on that night, when everyone else had left. Hermione didn't want to be afraid anymore—not of anything. So when Draco finally pulled away to catch his breath, Hermione pulled him back in. She kissed him softly for a long moment. Draco took a step back when Hermione suddenly pushed him away.

"Draco…"

"It's okay, you don't have to say anything." Draco looked down at the ground, accepting rejection.

"No, Draco, someone's here." Hermione saw a glowing light in the distance. "Come on, we have to go."

Hermione and Draco reached the stairs before they stopped running. At this point, they were laughing at the idiocy of it all. Would someone actually get the Head Boy and Head Girl in trouble for getting books from the library? Sure, it was a violation of the rules, but did the rules really matter? After all, they were honestly there because they were getting ahead on their studies. It probably wouldn't have looked good that they were kissing, though. Hermione hoped that it was a professor and not a student. She wasn't ready to hear any negativity from her classmates, or any rumors being spread.

"I'm going to take a shower," Hermione told Draco as soon as they walked into the living room.

"Okay," Draco lit the fire and sat down on the couch.

When Hermione returned, she saw Draco lying on the couch. He looked so comfortable. He seemed more relaxed than he normally did when he slept. Draco was sprawled out across the entire couch, so Hermione decided to just let him sleep there. He looked too peaceful to wake up or move. She went to his bedroom and grabbed a blanket. When she came back, she covered him up and stared for a slight moment. Hermione walked to him and slowly brushed some of his hair off his face. Then kissed his forehead softly after bending down to see him clearer.

"Be careful, Draco." Hermione whispered as he slept, "You just might fall in love with me."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Dancing with the Devil

Author's Note: This chapter is a lot of dialogue, and I apologize for that! It's been a busy past week and upcoming week, so please bare with me! My song recommendation for this chapter is Dance With The Devil by Breaking Benjamin. I hope you continue to review and give feedback on the story! Thank you all so much!

* * *

Hermione didn't wake up until twenty minutes past noon. When she got up, Hermione checked the corridor, looking for Draco, but he was nowhere to be found. Sighing softly, she got ready before heading down to the Great Hall. After opening the door, Hermione found Ginny and Luna sitting across from each other, studying. Hermione stood awkwardly, wondering whether or not she should approach them. As she scanned the room, she found Draco and Pansy talking to one another in low tones. Trying not to let the sight bother her, Hermione pushed her way through a crowd to get to the Gryffindor table.

"Hermione," Luna called her name. Ginny didn't glance up from her book. Slowly, Hermione sat down beside the redhead, feeling uncertain.

"Hey," Hermione softly replied, "How are you guys?"

"I'm fine," Luna offered, as she took a drink of water. Hermione waited for Ginny to answer, but there was no reply.

"Right…" Hermione took a deep breath and looked around the room once more.

"Do you really think that we're just going to go back to being normal?" Ginny questioned, finally turning her body to face her friend.

"I don't know where we stand," Hermione offered, "You won't talk to me, you won't look at me, you barely manage to let me be in presence of you."

"How am I supposed to feel, Hermione?" Ginny crossed her arms. "How am I supposed to just smile and pretend like I'm okay?"

"How am I supposed to do that either?" Hermione gave her a sincere look. "Ginny, I've lost enough people for one lifetime. The last person I want to lose is you. But we have to communicate with one another if we're going to make this work."

"I think you've already lost me." Ginny stood up, packed her things, and walked away.

Hermione and Luna sat silently for a few moments. Hermione didn't really have anything to say. Ginny had made it clear that she no longer wanted to have a friendship with her. So what was she to do? She wasn't going to sit there and sulk over this. Hermione had too many things to do. She debated about asking Luna to go shopping with her for a dress to wear to the upcoming dance. But Hermione decided against it, realizing that she could just as easily make her own dress, without having to bother anyone.

"I should get going," Hermione stood up.

"You're distancing yourself, again." Luna warned, eyeing the girl carefully.

"Well, apparently that's the only thing I'm good at." Hermione shook her head. "I'm sorry, but I can't do this today."

When Hermione turned, she saw Draco and Pansy still talking from the corner of her eye. Then she turned around to look back at Luna with a quill in her hand. Hermione gripped onto her wand and flicked it discretely, whispering a spell. Luna's quill suddenly flung itself across the room, close to where Draco was standing. Luna gave Hermione a stern look, but Hermione simply gestured her that she would get it. As Hermione made her way over to the Slytherin table, she took a deep breath, trying to stay calm and confident. Hermione bent down to pick up the quill, but her hand collided with someone else's.

"Hermione Granger," Blaise smiled at her, as they both stood straight up.

"Blaise," She returned the smile as she took the quill from his hand. "Thank you."

"So I was actually going to invite you to another party. I wasn't sure if Draco told you about it yet. It's going to be an after party for the dance."

"I'm sure he'll invite me," Hermione pushed her hair behind her ears.

"I'm sure," Blaise nodded. "Well, if you ever want to hang out…"

"Yeah, that'd be great," Hermione felt her cheeks go red.

"Well, I'll see you around," Blaise walked back to a group of Slytherin's and sat down beside them.

Hermione looked down at the quill and carefully listened to Draco and Pansy's conversation from a distance. She heard Pansy talking about Lucius Malfoy. A small piece of her heart broke when she turned around and saw Pansy with her arm on Draco's shoulder. It looked lovingly, and tenderly. This anger she felt building up inside was a new experience for her. The only thing she could relate it to was her feelings towards Lavender when Ron was falling for her. Could this be what Astoria felt when she realized that Draco and Hermione had something more than a friendship? Hermione approached the two, as Pansy drew her arm away, clearly understanding that she had crossed some sort of boundary.

"I guess we will talk about this later, Draco." Pansy didn't even bother to look at Hermione.

"What was all that about?" Hermione wondered aloud.

"N—nothing," Draco cleared his throat, "Have you picked out a dress for the dance? I know I keep bugging you…but I want us to be matching."

"It will probably be black." Hermione replied, "So whatever you wear should be fine."

"Oh…alright," Draco put his hands in his pockets awkwardly.

"So what are your plans for after the dance?"

"I have some things to tend to." Draco looked around the room, clearly feeling uneasy about something.

"What things, exactly?" Hermione inquired, taking a step closer to him.

"Is that really any of your business?" Draco sharply answered.

"Draco, it was just a question. There's no reason for you to get so defensive." Hermione looked disappointed.

"I'm not getting defensive," Draco stated, but his tone said otherwise.

"Why can't you just be honest with me?" Hermione asked.

"I don't know what you expect from me. I told you I have things to do. Why is that not enough?"

"Never mind," Hermione turned around, "I'm done with this conversation."

For the rest of the evening, Hermione finished some homework she had been dreading. Once she had finished, she decided that she was going to go for a walk. It was evident that Hermione's presence was annoying everyone. When she left the courtyard, Hermione pulled up the hood on her jacket. Although it was just sprinkling, she didn't want her hair to become bushy again. As she reached the boathouse, Hermione sat down on the wooden planks, and crossed her legs. She looked out at the water, wondering how cold it was. She stayed out there for two hours before she heard footsteps from behind. Though she had hoped it would be Ginny, Hermione knew that the sound of the footsteps couldn't have been from the petite girl. Turning her head slightly, Hermione looked up to see Astoria.

"Listen, if you're here to yell at me, insult me, or curse me…get in line with everyone else." Hermione turned back to look at the water.

"Hermione, that's not why I'm here." Astoria walked to her side, staring out at the water as well.

"Then what do you want from me?"

"I don't want anything from you." Astoria sat down beside Hermione, taking on her exact position. "I'm actually here because I want to give you something."

"Well there's a plot twist," Hermione sarcastically said as her eyes met the gorgeous girl at her left side. "Sorry," She immediately added after seeing Astoria's expression.

"I heard you and Draco arguing in the Great Hall earlier." Astoria turned away from Hermione. "I know that you guys have probably argued before and all…but I just want you to know that Draco is who he is. He lies, he cheats, and then goes right behind your back…just so he can stab you."

"Astoria!" Hermione cried, "Please, go away. I have enough negativity right now for the both of us."

"Let me finish," Astoria told her. "Draco is going to push you away. And you'll keep trying to get closer to him. Hermione, you might give everything you have to him, and he might just keep separating himself from you."

"I know that." Hermione bit her bottom lip.

"And he's going to get angry. He's going to throw things, and scream, and fight, and pin you up against the wall, and you'll be terrified. Being with a guy like that…it's not as easy as you think it is."

"I never said I thought it was easy." Hermione stated.

"I may not have known Ron as well as you did. But I could tell, even from afar, that many times you controlled the relationship. You set boundaries, you gave him rules, you were the organized one. And he was the one who had to tiptoe around those expectations. Draco isn't Ron."

"Shut up, Astoria." Hermione started to get up, but Astoria caught her arm.

"Draco isn't Ron, Hermione. And he's never going to be Ron. Draco is going to fight back. You are going to get into terrible arguments. You won't sleep well at night. You won't eat proper meals. You won't do things that you would normally do. You will change, Hermione. You cannot be the same person you are now and think that anything will work between the two of you. Draco likes to be in control, and so do you. Therefore, it's not going to be easy. But you can make it work. And once you make it work, it can be something beautiful." Astoria told her.

"Did you have something…beautiful with Draco?" Hermione suddenly asked, in a more serious tone.

"No," Astoria stood back up, "No, definitely not. What Draco and I had…it was…private, behind closed doors. He didn't want anyone to know about us. So that's how it stayed."

"He was embarrassed?" Hermione's eyes widened slightly.

"He was cheating on Pansy with me." Astoria kept a straight face.

"He cheated on Pansy?" Hermione rose to her feet.

"To be fair, they were cheating on each other." Astoria let out a soft breath. "It's not fun always being the other woman." She let out a sad laugh.

"I'm glad that we're able to talk about this." Hermione offered, "I know we aren't really friends, but I don't want any hard feelings between us."

"Listen, Granger. I'm just going to warn you now. I still care about Draco. And you won't stand in between the two of us. As far as I see it, until there's a ring on his finger, he's fair game." Astoria gave Hermione a friendly wink before walking away.

* * *

Later that night, Hermione walked into Draco's room, to find him lying on his bed. It took him a few moments to acknowledge her entering the room. Immediately, he sat up and gave her his full attention. Hermione tried to hide a smile, noting that he had never acted that way before. It was obvious that he had enough time to cool off and was now ready to make up. Draco stood up from his bed and walked over to Hermione.

"Draco..." Hermione started, but he interrupted.

"Blaise told me he invited you to the party." Draco began, "I should have said something about it. But I didn't, because…well, that doesn't really matter…"

"It does matter. One minute you're sweet talking Pansy…the next you're keeping secrets…"

"I wasn't sweet talking Pansy." Draco shook his head.

"What were you talking about? It looked pretty serious."

"Granger, I don't want to tell you…not now. It's nothing that's going to matter for quite some time."

"But it will matter, it does matter. I want to know." Hermione tried to explain.

"We are not a couple." Draco stood up straighter. "You are not my girlfriend. I have no obligations to you. Whatever I talk to Pansy about is between the two of us. And you need to respect that."

"I do respect that, but it's obviously got you bent out of shape." Hermione cried out, "Why is it that big of a deal? If you're just honest with me…"

"It has nothing to do with you!" Draco shouted. "So stay out of it."

"Fine," Hermione walked out of her room and headed towards her bed.

"You don't get to be mad about this!" Draco followed her.

"No, I do. How am I supposed to feel now that you're talking to her, again? Some Slytherins may have changed, Draco. But Pansy sure isn't one of them." Hermione undid the covers of her bed.

"You talked to Astoria, didn't you?"

"How is it supposed to make me feel?" Hermione repeated as she faced him.

"I'm not who I used to be. You know that already."

"So you changed…who's to say you won't do it again?"

"You're right," Draco accepted that statement. "But you'll never know that if you keep pushing me away."

"Maybe I won't, but maybe it's better that way." Hermione sat down, looking at the ground.

"Well, I'll let you sleep on that." Draco left the room.

Hermione stayed up late that night. She couldn't ease her mind enough to get any sleep. After looking out the window for several minutes, Hermione grabbed her wand. She knew that sooner or later she would have to visit the grave. There was no way she could possibly keep avoiding it if she ever wanted to have a clear conscious. Hermione had skipped the funeral. Though she felt guilty, she thought it was best to lay low for a while. She didn't want to make things more difficult on the family. But at the same time, she could tell that it would reflect poorly on her. With a wave of the wand, Hermione was at a cemetery. Passing by graves of unknown people, Hermione wondered how recently their loved ones visited. Trying to hold back tears, Hermione finally stopped in front of Ron's grave. She bent down so that her knees were on the ground and her hand was resting on the tombstone.

Ron was lying merely six feet under the ground. There was only dirt and a casket separating them from each other. Not to mention, life itself. A tear fell down Hermione's cheek as her shoulders shook violently. How did this happen? How could this happen? Closing her eyes, Hermione looked up, trying to get ahold of her emotions. But she couldn't help but to cry for a few more minutes.

"What was in the letter, Ron?" Hermione cried out, "What was in that bloody letter that was so important?" She could feel her heart breaking all over again, thinking about that night. "You were so angry with me. No matter what I said, I couldn't calm you down. You wouldn't believe me…why wouldn't you believe me?" There was a long pause before Hermione was able to continue. "I'm never going to stop grieving, Ron. I wanted to marry you, I wanted to raise my children with you. You knew that, right? Please, just tell me you knew that." But there was no reply. "And you'd laugh at me, Ron. For being so bloody stupid. I'm making friends with Slytherins. You thought Viktor Krum was an enemy, heck, I'm befriending Draco. And I know that this is terrible, because of everything that's happened. But he's the only thing that makes me feel alive, anymore. Even when we fight, it still feels better than not having him in my life at all. I'd rather be angry than feel absolutely nothing at all. And lately…that's how I've been feeling. So forgive me, Ron…for everything."

* * *

Hermione put on a black dress that hung down to the floor. She had curled her hair and pinned it to the side of her head, so the curls fell downward gracefully. After putting on just a bit of makeup, she walked out of her room. Draco was leaned up against the fireplace with his forearm rested against the top mantel. His eyes were lowered on the glowing fire, thinking hard about something. Hermione cleared her throat, catching Draco's attention and pulling him back into reality. He turned towards her, wearing a black suit. The two glanced at each other for a long moment before either of them spoke.

"You look beautiful," Draco managed to say.

"You clean up nice," Hermione offered with a small laugh.

"We should probably get going." Draco led Hermione out of the room.

When they got to the Great Hall, Hermione was pleased with the turnout. She had assumed that since Draco did most all of the planning, it would turn out merely decent. But to her surprise, Draco had envisioned a gorgeous set up, and everything turned out just right. Hermione felt eyes on her, as the two walked into the room together, arm in arm. Draco looked towards her, making sure she was still okay. Hermione gave him a slight nod, as they walked to the side of the room to get drinks. Though this was difficult for the both of them, Draco knew that Hermione was probably being criticized worse for it. He poured Hermione a drink, and then his own. He turned around immediately afterwards to see Astoria standing on the other side of the room, eyeing the couple.

"You shouldn't talk to her," Draco said under his breath.

"She's a good person, Draco. She has a good heart." Hermione told him.

"A good heart doesn't mean much with such a wicked personality."

"People change, Draco," Hermione gave him a soft smile. "We should at least be civil. If she comes up to us, we need to be polite."

Astoria never approached them though, and Hermione could tell that Draco couldn't be any more relieved. It was clear that Draco didn't want anything to do with Astoria, which made Hermione somewhat sad. Of course she didn't want the two running off together or anything. But at the same time, Hermione felt like she could be standing where Astoria is standing one day. After all, Astoria and Draco were never a couple, and neither were Draco and Hermione. But things sometimes led to another, and they said and did things that friends shouldn't do or say to one another unless they are interested in being more. It killed Hermione to think that one day it would be her, standing off to the side, watching Draco with another girl, and realizing that he didn't care about her anymore. The mere thought of it made Hermione cringe.

"Ease up," Draco whispered to Hermione as they began to walk around. "You're so tense."

"I'm trying," She said under her breath. "I think…I think I just need some air. Excuse me,"

Hermione made her way out to the courtyard, where she sat down on a stone bench. Though it was slightly chilly that evening, Hermione sat outside for several minutes. Turning to her right, Hermione saw a group of Slytherins laughing as they approached the door. All of them went inside, except for one. It took Hermione a moment to realize it was Pansy Parkinson. But when she did, Hermione shot up out of her seat, readying herself in case of an emergency.

"I'm not going to hurt you, mudblood." Pansy shook her head. "If I wanted you dead, I would have killed you already."

Hermione thought back to when Draco said something similar their first night at Hogwarts.

"What do you want, then?" Hermione inquired.

"To be honest with you, because I doubt Draco will be." Pansy started, "I wasn't going to tell you, because it wasn't really my place. But since I can see you're swooning over Draco, I think it's only fair to tell."

"Get on with it."

"Voldemort may be dead, Granger. But his army still lives. And it's only a matter of time before they build in numbers and fight again." Pansy crossed her arms, "Draco's father, Lucius Malfoy will be one of the leaders. They want to put someone in control, give them power. No one takes Lucius seriously, so I doubt he'll remain at the head of the system."

"No, what would they have to fight for? If Voldemort is dead…"

"They still want to purify the race, Granger." Pansy interrupted, "And they want Draco to be in charge. He's young, he has charisma, and people will follow his lead."

"Draco would never do that." Hermione shook her head.

"He fought on our side the last time, what makes you think he won't do it again?" Pansy's words cut right through Hermione. "Oh, I get it. You think that since he's bunked with you the past few months that suddenly he's changed his opinions of your filthy blood?" Pansy let out a laugh, "Trust me, Granger, whatever the two of you have…it cannot compare to Draco's loyalty to his father. He will turn on you just as quickly as he did the last time. Draco is a coward, who only cares about surviving from day to day."

"How can you say that?" Hermione cried, "Who has killed your spirit so much that you believe everyone is just as wicked as you are?"

"We're all wicked!" Pansy shouted, "Some of us are just hiding it better than others."

"I am not wicked,"

"Well, you're playing with fire." Pansy stood up taller. "On top of everything else, Draco's parents and my parents have arranged our marriage for after graduation."

"Marriage?"

"It will improve Draco's status." Pansy explained.

"This is a lie, a terrible, lie, Pansy." Hermione tried dismissing the idea of it.

"No, it's the terrible truth, Granger." Pansy gave a small smile. "You know, it's getting chilly, you should probably get back to your date. I'm sure he's **_awfully_** worried about you."

Pansy left Hermione, standing next to the bench. Hermione was in shock, wondering if everything Pansy had said was true. The idea of having another War was crushing Hermione's spirit. She had assumed that once Voldemort was gone, there would be no more uprisings. But she had been wrong, about many things. Feeling her heart sinking inside her chest, Hermione watched as Draco appeared in the courtyard. He had a genuine smile on his face as he called her over.

"Come on, Granger. We're expected to at least dance once." Draco led her back inside to where all the commotion was.

Hermione felt her cheeks turn red when Draco pulled her closer to him. He one hand on her waist, and the other held her hand. The two spun around for a few moments, but Hermione kept her gaze away from him. Draco tried to ignore it, thinking that maybe she wasn't feeling too well. But after another minute passed by, he was concerned.

"Granger, are you sick?"

"No," Hermione shook her head, "But you are."

"What?"

"Why didn't you tell me? Do you think I'm a naïve fool? I knew that something was going on, I knew it. And you lied to me, you lied to my face. This was very much my business, Draco." Hermione told him under her breath.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb with me," Hermione gave him stern eyes. "You're going to marry Pansy? And you're going to lead a rebellion? You want to purify the race? Tell me, will you kill me first or kill me last?"

"Granger, it's not like that." Draco muttered.

"Then explain it to me, because as far as I see it, I'm dancing with the devil." Hermione bit harshly on her words.

"I don't want to marry Pansy, and I don't want to lead a rebellion. But you have to understand that I can't just say no. I can't run from this, or they will kill me."

"So instead, you're going to kill thousands of others?" Hermione questioned.

"Harry Potter was the chosen one, yes?" Draco kept his eyes locked with hers.

"Yes,"

"Well so was I. From the time I was young, I was chosen. They wanted me to kill Dumbledore. They wanted me to lead groups, I wasn't asked, I was forced. This wasn't a choice I was given, it was a burden I've had to carry." Draco tried to explain.

"So you're just going to accept it? Face defeat?"

"No, I'm going to fight it, okay? I'm just not sure how yet." Draco took a deep breath. "You believe me, don't you?"

"You've given me a million reasons not to." Hermione gave him a sad look. "But this time…I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. Between now and graduation, you need to decide. You either fight with me, or you stand against me."

"Understood,"

The two stopped dancing as the song finished.

"I think I'm going to call it a night." Hermione told Draco. "Tell Blaise that I'm sorry I missed the after party."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

I Love You

Two months passed and Hermione had been getting along pretty well with Draco. They didn't have many arguments, and on the rare occasion that they did bicker, they made up pretty quickly. Hermione and Draco still didn't make anything official. But they both had been making it apparent that they didn't enjoy seeing the other flirting with other people. Hermione had recently been going to Slytherin Quidditch matches and had even started going to the after parties. Blaise had been getting pretty close with Hermione lately, and Draco's jealously was beginning to show.

"Another win!" Blaise shouted as he raised his glass. Others joined in and merrily took a drink on behalf of the players.

"He seems extra excited today," Hermione laughed as she turned over to Draco.

"Yeah," Draco had already been staring at Hermione for quite some time.

"What's on your mind, Draco?" She took a drink and then put her cup down on the kitchen counter.

"You," He answered with a slight smile.

"Shut up," Hermione blushed, looking away.

"Granger," Draco leaned in towards her. "Kiss me."

"Draco," She laughed and picked up her drink again.

"Granger, please," His hand reached her waist, pulling her closer to him. "Put the drink down. You've already had a few."

"So have you," Hermione noted. "Draco, don't do something you're going to regret."

"The only regret I have is that we haven't done this in a long time." Draco bent downwards and kissed Hermione on the lips. She pulled away and looked at the ground, unsure of what to think. She wanted to kiss him. Hermione wanted to practically wrap herself up in him, but he was slightly drunk, and she didn't want to get her hopes up for nothing.

"Draco, I can't keep doing this with you." Hermione shook her head, "We're either a couple or we're not."

"A couple?" Draco asked, confused. "Why—why does that…Granger,"

"You obviously care about me, and I care about you. So what's the problem?"

"The problem? The problem is that I'm supposed to look like I'm marrying Pansy, and I can't be in a relationship." Draco answered.

"You can be in a relationship, just keep it behind doors." Hermione told him.

"I'm not going to be in a relationship with you behind closed doors, Granger." Draco shook his head. "You and I will be in a relationship after all of this is over. But I refuse to keep any romantic interest in the shadows. I won't treat you the way I treated Astoria."

"Fine," Hermione looked a little disappointed. "But can you do me a favor?"

"Anything," Draco nodded, taking her drink from her hand and placing it back on the counter.

"Say that you love me." Hermione's eyes left the ground and met Draco's eyes. He was surprised by her request, but he didn't pause for long.

"I love you," Draco said in a low tone, "Granger, you knew that, didn't you?"

There was a long pause between the two. Draco took Hermione by the hand, took her into her bedroom and shut the door behind him. He didn't want others overhearing their conversation. When he turned to her, he saw that she had watery eyes. Had she really thought that all along he didn't have any legitimate feelings for her? He watched her composure for a few minutes before walking up to her. Draco wasn't the best at relationships. He wasn't great at showing or proving his love to anyone. For years he had almost been heartless. He shacked up with girls that he didn't care about, because he honestly didn't believe that anyone would ever care about him. But now...now he had someone who truly cared, and he could honestly say that he cared too. So this was new for Draco, and there were going to be a few bumps, and there were going to be rough edges. But Draco would be damned if he let Hermione slip away all because he wasn't making his intentions and emotions clear enough.

"I love you," He kissed her, "I love you," He kissed her again. Hermione laughed as he turned his attention towards her neck. "I love you, Granger."

Draco put his hands on her jawline, and pushed against Hermione, causing her to lean up against a wall. He felt his heart pounding through his chest as he continued to collide into Hermione. She pulled away, trying to catch her breath. But something felt different. This didn't feel impulsive, it just felt…right. So she put her arms around his neck and kissed him forcefully. Draco picked Hermione up, as she wrapped her legs around him. He set her down on her bed, and began kissing her neck. Hermione lifted her head up and looked at the ceiling, trying to think clearly. But she wasn't thinking at all, it was just instinct. Draco took his shirt off and leaned over Hermione. After a few moments of kissing, Draco crawled on top of her, placing his hands on either side of her.

"I love you," Hermione kissed him softly. "But I can't do this." She sat up, forcing Draco to sit in front of her.

"Okay," Draco nodded, taking a deep breath.

"Are you mad?" Hermione felt a sudden shift of energy in the room.

"No, no, of course not," Draco shook his head. "I'm just…confused."

"I know, so am I." Hermione placed her hand over his. "But I really do love you, Draco."

"I love you too, Granger." Draco spent the night curled up next to Hermione.

The next morning, Hermione woke up alone. She was alarmed at first, quickly sitting up straight. Getting out of bed, Hermione opened up her door. She was hit with the smell of pancakes. Hermione stood in her doorway, watching Draco cooking without using any magic. A smile appeared on her face as Draco turned around and saw her. He gave her a warm laugh while she started walking towards him.

"Look at all this," Hermione sat on the counter.

"It's for you," Draco watched her facial expressions. "It's all for you."

"Thank you," Hermione took a bite from Draco's fork. "It's wonderful, Draco. I can't believe you cooked it without using any magic."

"I've been trying to learn to do things like this on my own." Draco explained.

"I'm proud of you," Hermione leaned forward and kissed Draco on the cheek.

* * *

Later that evening, Hermione made her way to the library where she found Ginny looking for a book. Hermione walked past a few Hufflepuff students and made her way to the redhead.

"Ginny, we need to talk." Hermione stated.

"I don't want to talk," Ginny refused to look at her.

"Well I don't care," Hermione grabbed Ginny's arm, twisting her backwards. "We need to talk, and you can't keep brushing me off."

"Actually, I can. I like it better this way." Ginny snobbishly said.

"I get that you're hurt." Hermione paused for a moment, "So am I. But I wasn't driving that car, Ginny. I didn't force him to come or leave. I didn't kill him."

"Are you still going to act like you didn't read the letter?" Ginny turned around angrily.

"Ginny, I didn't read it…and you know that. I wouldn't lie. I don't know what the letter was about." Hermione explained, "I tried to get Ron to calm down and stay. I tried to tell him that I didn't read that letter, but he was so set on the idea that I was lying about it. I'm human, Ginny, and I make an awful lot of mistakes. But I'm not a monster. I wouldn't lie about something that would obviously hurt Ron so much. I loved him, I loved him, Ginny, I still love him. I will always love him. That is honest truth. But time doesn't stop, not ever. So I have to move on. I think it's about time you do the same. Don't forgive me for whatever it is you blame me for because I deserve to be forgiven. Forgive me because you deserve to be at ease with yourself."

"You mean…" Ginny let out a small breath, "You really didn't read that letter?"

"No, Ginny, of course not. I would have been honest with him—with all of you. It breaks my heart that I didn't know what was in the letter." Hermione bit her bottom lip, "But I will never know, none of us will ever know. It's in the past now, and I think that's where we should leave it."

"Oh, no, Hermione," Ginny shook her head with tears in her eyes, "No, I've made a terrible mistake."

"What's wrong?"

"This is all my fault," Ginny shook her head, "This is all my fault,"

"Ginny, nothing's your fault." Hermione tried to assure her.

"I have to go," Ginny put her books down on a nearby table and rushed out of the library, leaving Hermione alone.

Hermione bit her lip harshly as she started to head back to her room. No one was ever going to tell her anything about the letter. No one was going to be honest about Ron or what had happened. So she would always be left in the dark about this. She went to the kitchenette and quickly made herself a cup of hot chocolate. Draco stood up from the couch by the fire and turned around to see Hermione trying to fix her hair. She looked distressed about something, but he wasn't sure what for. He walked up from behind her and gave her a tight hug, placing his head against her neck. Hermione softly laughed, feeling his breath against her skin.

"You're too pretty to be so upset all the time," Draco told her, "We only have a few more weeks until graduation. I want to spend time with you, before things get…difficult."

"Difficult…" Hermione repeated, thinking about how difficult things had been already.

"But once this is over, things are going to be good again." Draco offered, putting his hand over hers.

"Have you even developed a plan yet?" Hermione's question sounded more accusing than curious.

"I'm debating on a few." Draco sighed, realizing that Hermione wanted to have a conversation about the dire matter.

"Where do I fall during all of this? Do I just fight against you on the frontline?" Hermione took a deep breath, "What if one of us accidently kills the other?"

"We won't accidently kill each other," Draco laughed at the idea.

"Don't laugh, who knows what will happen?" Hermione cried out.

"Okay, listen. I have to make my followers want to follow me. I need a higher status, I need to be charismatic, and I need to be able to fool them. So I'm going to marry Pansy. But it will all be for show. We will do it just after final exams, a few days before school lets out. The attack will be on the last day of school. I will lead the march, I will have everyone fooled. And then during the war, I'm going to stage my death. When I'm dead, they will give up and stop fighting. Then we can run…the two of us…and everything will be fine." Draco explained.

"People will die," Hermione said, "Innocent people will die…"

"Yes," Draco nodded, "But whether they recruited me…or someone else…they still would have died."

"It's not fair," Hermione put her cup of hot chocolate down. "So many of us have already fought a War, and we're not in a condition to fight again."

"It's going to be okay." Draco said, "We're going to be okay, Granger."

"I can't do this, I have to tell someone. We have to prepare, we have to ready ourselves."

"If they find out, it will ruin everything. And they'll want to kill you, Granger. Because they will know you're the only one who could have overheard anything." Draco turned her around to face him. "You have to promise me you won't tell."

"How am I supposed to keep that a secret?" Hermione questioned, "How am I supposed to let my friends…our friends die, Draco?"

"Talk to McGonagall, come up with some sort of excuse for why the lower grades should return home a day early. That way it will only be the upper classes here. See if they can change their exam days, and begin their departure early." Draco lowered his voice.

"What kind of excuse can I make? Draco, she'll know something's up. I…I can't lie to her. She trusts me, Draco, and I won't break that." Hermione stood firmly.

"Fine, tell her. But explain the situation, let her know that it must remain a secret. Tell her to prepare, but to do it as discretely as possible." Draco watched Hermione closely, "But if you do that, you have to promise me something, Granger."

"Of course,"

"You can't fight in this War." Draco demanded.

"W—what?" Hermione was bewildered by the idea of it all. "Not fight? What am I supposed to do, stand on the sidelines and just wait?"

"I can't lose you," Draco shook his head, "Do you not understand that you're going to be their number one enemy? Not only did you help Harry in his victory, but you're also a—you're not a pureblood."

"Then that's all the more reason to fight, Draco. I'm sorry, but I will not make any promises." Hermione shook her head.

Draco eyed the girl cautiously. He knew that he couldn't honestly expect her to stay out of the fight. She would fight for Hogwarts until the day she died, and he knew that. But he couldn't help but to ask her just in case there was even a shimmer of hope that she would agree. Draco didn't want Hermione to be placed in the middle of this situation. But at the same time, he didn't want to keep her away. All he wanted to do was spend as much time with her as he could up until he had to leave. Hermione was his little piece of happiness that he had ever been allowed to have. All the other girls in his life were just vessels. He released his emotions into him, but he didn't actually have emotions for them. They were just toys that he would play with whenever he got bored, or whenever he felt lonely, or whenever he needed a pick-me-up. Hermione was something so much different. He hated to see her angry, he loathed to see her cry. He felt like a lovesick puppy with emotional issues whenever it came to her. And for that, he hated her. But because of that, he loved her.

He watched Hermione walk away and sit in front of the fire. She put her hands out towards the flames and tried to warm herself up. Draco finished Hermione's hot chocolate and then washed the cup out and put it back in the cupboard. With his hands on the sink, he let out a soft sigh. For the first time in his life, things actually felt right. He felt like all his years of suffering had finally come to an end. But he knew that in a mere few weeks, his world would be turned upside down once more. And as much as he tried to fight the idea—he knew that it was true. There was a possibility, a high possibility, that one of them, or even both of them would not make it out alive. Draco turned back around to see Hermione, her shoulders hunched over and her head in her hands. He wasn't ready to give this up. Draco wasn't ready to give Hermione up.

* * *

Hermione walked into the bathroom and took a quick shower. Draco had already left to pick up some books at the library. They were getting ready to do their last report in one of their classes, so Hermione wanted to start early on it and get it over with. As Hermione got out of the shower, she heard a knock on the door. Pulling her towel tighter, Hermione headed out of the bathroom. Who would be coming over at this time? She could only imagine it would be Draco, but why wouldn't he just use the password? When Hermione pulled the door open, she saw a familiar redhead standing on the other side. She gave out an awkward laugh—somewhere between heartbroken and thankful. Putting her arms around the boy's neck, she felt her emotions run haywire.

"Please, come in." Hermione closed the door. "I'm sorry, I was just getting out of the shower. You can stay right here and I will be right out." Hermione quickly got dressed and then reentered the room. "So what brings you here, Fred?"

"Ginny actually wrote me," Fred stood up from the couch, "She…she made a mistake, a bad one. And it was impulsive, and reckless."

"Is she okay?" Hermione wondered.

"Hermione, she told Ron that you were lying about the letter. She assumed that you had read it and then didn't want to deal with it. So it was easier to lie than just own up to it. If she would have known…she never would have lied." Fred tried to stay calm.

"She _**did** _know, I told her. But she didn't want to believe I was telling the truth. She was so mad at the world, that she had to be mad at me too," Hermione exclaimed, "I told everyone that I lost that stupid letter! No one believed me."

The door suddenly opened and Draco walked into the room.

"Granger, what's going on?" Draco looked back and forth between the two.

"Fred, Draco is the Head Boy this year, so we share a dorm." Hermione explained. "Draco, apparently Ginny told Ron that I had lied about that stupid letter."

"Letter?" Draco cleared his throat awkwardly, remembering the letter he still had in his dresser.

"You remember the letter that Ron had wrote me at the beginning of the school year?" Hermione crossed her arms.

"The point is, Ginny blames herself. If she didn't tell Ron that, he probably wouldn't have come out to break things off with you, and he probably wouldn't have gotten into an accident." Fred explained.

Hermione stayed quiet for quite some time. She sat down on the couch and let out a deep breath. Could his death really have been prevented that easily? Draco walked to Hermione's side and put his hand affectionately on her back. Fred sat on the other side of Hermione as she let everything sink in. Hermione rubbed her eyes and shook her head.

"I have to see Ginny," Hermione stood up, "She's probably so torn up. I have to tell her that it's not her fault. She needs to know that I'm not upset at her."

When Hermione reached the Gryffindor common room, she found Ginny sitting beside Luna on the couch. Her head hung low as she cried into her hands. Luna was thankful to see Hermione and moved over so that Hermione could sit in her place. Hermione put her arms around Ginny and let the girl cry into her collarbone. She placed her hand over Ginny's head and shushed her soothingly, like a mother to a young child. Hermione's kindness only made Ginny cry harder, but it was a good kind of cry. It was a cry that was honest and vulnerable, a state that Ginny hadn't shown to Hermione in over a year. Though Hermione hated seeing Ginny crying, she was happy to see that the two were able to communicate. After so long, the cold shoulder gets old.

"Ginny, I don't blame you." Hermione whispered, "This was not your fault."

"Yes it was," Ginny cried, "Yes it was."

"You didn't know." Hermione helped Ginny to stand up, "Things happen for a reason. All of this happened for a reason."

"Why are you so nice to me? I treated you terribly, Hermione." Ginny tried to wipe her eyes.

"You're like my sister, Ginny." Hermione hugged Ginny tightly. "You'll always be my sister."

"We're going to get through this, right?"

"Yes, I promise you that." Hermione nodded and gave the girl a tight smile.

* * *

The sun entered the window at an odd angle. Hermione woke up and pushed the covers off of her. She pulled her hair back in a ponytail as she stood up and walked towards the bathroom. After washing her face, Hermione looked at herself for a moment. Something about her appearance seemed different, but she couldn't exactly put her finger on it. When she reached the fireplace, Hermione saw Draco in his bedroom, looking outside the window. Hermione entered the room and saw his composure. He looked so defeat that it made Hermione's heart hurt. Taking a step towards him, Hermione watched him turn quickly, as if to draw his wand.

"It's just me…Draco," Hermione whispered.

"S—sorry," He stammered, turning back towards the window.

"What's wrong? You're so uneasy this morning." Hermione put her hand on his shoulder.

"I'm just thinking." He didn't glance over to her. "I haven't slept much the past few days."

"Draco, you need to sleep." Hermione softly told him, "Come on, I'll make you breakfast."

"I'm not hungry," Draco shook his head.

"You need to relax." Hermione pulled him away from the window and kissed him.

"I can't," Draco admitted.

"Lay down and at least rest your eyes." Hermione said.

"I'm not tired."

"Humor me."

Draco laid down in his bed, facing away from the window. Hermione stayed beside him and ran her hands through his hair. She talked to him about unimportant things, easing his mind a bit. Eventually, Draco fell into a deep sleep. Hermione closed the curtains so that the light wouldn't wake him and then picked up some clothes off the floor. She opened up the top drawer of his dresser and put away a button up shirt. She saw an envelope lying on it's side. Her hand reached for it, but as soon as her hand touched it, she heard Draco moving. So she quickly shut the door and turned around. Thankfully, he had just rolled over. Hermione considered pulling out the envelope, but she decided against it. She trusted Draco enough to know he wasn't keeping anything from her. If this almost-relationship was going to work, she was going to have to not use his past against him.


End file.
